You can take the girl out of Cleveland...

Because I feel like I have to

2010-07-08T23:05:00.005-04:00

There so much I want to say right now. (aka... warning... I MIGHT ramble) It can't even be summed up in a few simple words. I haven't posted in almost a year. I was pretty sure I had hung up my "Girl out of Cleveland" shoes. Even after thousands of pleas from my most loyal readers (ok, an email from two random guys that enjoyed my writing, and two of my friends asking, so are you done with that whole blogging thing) I was ready to retire. But I, unlike others icons in the Cleveland sports world, will give the people what they want.

I may or may not return you to your regular schedule sarcastic observations and badly photoshopped (ok MS paint... I"m too cheap for photoshop!) pictures... but if nothing else, here are my reflections on tonight. The end of the circus that has essentially been two years in the making, but gotten wildly out of control within the last couple months, and especially the last few weeks.

So before I continue, I must say, I took tonight surprisingly well. I think that is partially due to the fact I've been mentally preparing myself for this for quite some time. As any good Cleveland fan knows, you hope for the best, but prepare for and expect the worse. Which is what I did.

I didn't cry. I didn't throw things. I didn't burn anything. I didn't drink until I puked. I feel like all of these things are signs of maturity.

I did however drop many an F* bomb. Especially when, before "the announcement" when Lebron was asked how he felt about this whole "recruiting" process after a lack of one upon entering the NBA right out of high school. Before he said the words "Miami Heat" (at that point I just shook my head and sipped my beer... what else could I do). When there was still a sliver of hope he might stay. And then he responded that the whole process had been "humbling". F*U*C*K you.... that is BULL SH*IT!!!! HUMBLING MY A*S*S! (Yes, I know you are supposed to replace letters with the * to sensor them, I am merely adding it between letters to drive home my emotion) HUMBLE??? Really what about an hour long special to make a 2 second announcement is humble????

I said earlier, well before any announcement, that at the end of the day, I wanted him to resign with us because he's disgustingly good at basketball. I've "witnessed" him in person. From my sophomore year in high school when he was a freshman at St. V and CRUSHED my high school's team in basketball up until the present time. From "Holy crap, did the freshman just DUNK???!!! Who the hell IS that guy" to his last second shot in the Orlando series last year (still one of the best sports moments I have personally seen), I have been amazed with his skill and athleticism. BUT these past few weeks he has proven himself to be a diva, a media whore, and a drama king/queen. And even if he were to still wear wine and gold next year, as much as I would cheer for him as a player, I would no longer respect him as a person. Now I will do neither.

I talked myself into and out of the fact he was staying over and over again. I tried not to. I tried to avoid the situation. I tried not to read into it and avoid all the media crap (F* you ESPN... you suck!). But I couldn't help it. I was like a deer caught in the headlights. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. What he did was cold. Make your decision. Sign wherever you want. But don't make a spectacle out of it. Be like a "normal" celebrity, do your thing, and issue a press release. In trying to build your empire, make your brand known, become an icon, you've tarnished yourself. You are a joke. Yes, you are still good at basketball. Don't get me wrong. I am not for a second doubting that. You may not have any rings. You may not have won a game in a finals series, (yea, I'm going to drive that home now that you're a bad guy), but you're good at basketball. But you may now be one of the most hated players in the NBA outside of Miami. New York fans and I can unite against him.

I really am heart broken by this because I do love the city of Cleveland. I myself left it for the bright lights of New York. I wouldn't have loved LeBron for that, but I would have gotten it. I could have understood Chicago. Again, wouldn't have loved you for it, but I would have gotten it. But the MIAMI HEAT? I hope the three of you and the rest of your minimum salary losers win 30 games next season.

I'm done ranting. My take aways from this: Despite what anyone says, Cleveland had strong supporting players. Maybe they weren't always consistent. But they had heart. We've got some strong role players. We just need a leader to step in. LeBron couldn't do it. Maybe someone else can. Let this be a challenge to any other want to be hero in the NBA. Come in and lead this team to do what Lebron couldn't.

At the end of the day I am still a Cleveland fan. Through all the heartache, I love my teams. I thought I was going to swear off basketball if Lebron left, but the more I think about it, the more I want to be a fan. I've loved this team for as long as I can remember. I rocked my Cavs starter jacket when it was sooooo much cooler to have a Hornets or a Bulls one. The name Mark Price will mean more to me than the name Lebron James ever will. I want to see this team rise above this and succeed. If I can stick by my Brownies, I can stick by my Cavs.

I'm going to end this with reposting Dan Gilbert's open letter to Cavs fans, which is currently on the front page of the Cavs website. As a friend of a friend put it best in their facebook status: "For seven years, he held a gun to our heads and made demands. For seven years, those demands were met. He shot the hostage anyway. This is why you don't negotiate with terrorists"

Danny Gilbert did nothing but give. He deserves the right to be angry. I love his open letter. Its got some Phil Savage-esque "go root for buffalo" undertones, but I think its bitter in an appropriate way. He says everything Cleveland is thinking and is promising us something better.... you know what DG... I hope you're right:

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

My New Browns Jersey

2009-10-07T21:35:00.001-04:00

Mess with the king... and hit the road! Hey Jets... this is your payback for Mangini... hope you like dropped passes!
Hot off the presses....

...

2009-10-04T12:58:00.001-04:00

I HATE ERIC MANGINI.

That is all.

Yep. Sounds about right.

2009-09-27T14:21:00.028-04:00

Ok, so I didn't post this week. Honestly... I have nothing new to say. We suck. We play bad football and lose games. There's only so many times I can put a funny spin on that. Maybe I should pick something new and less depressing to write about. Like world hunger.

I have let my loyal readers down lately. To make up for it, and the fact that I'm currently deriving no joy from this game, I am going to blog.

Actually, this is so painful to watch that CBS just crapped out. Even they don't want this game to be shown.

Its sad when I've written off the season three games in. Whether I'd like to admit it or not though, I have. I know this becuase this game isn't even getting to me. I've discussed the emotion this team invokes with me in the past. An emotion so unique to Cleveland fans, it has its own word... Brown. I've felt Brown about this whole season. I am a Browns fan until the day I die, but I'm just so apathetic right now. I honestly cannot even get excited about this team. And that's sad. The Browns being bad is nothing new, but they at least used to get me fired up. I used to get mad. I'm watching this game right now, we're playing like crap, and I don't have the urge to throw things. That's how I know things are bad. In the past, I have had to make sure there was nothing within arms reach of me during games or it would inevitably get thrown. I actually almost got kicked out of the Browns Backers bar in New York one time for throwing a fork. I didn't even realize I had done it... It was reaction. This team doesn't even do that to me anymore. I think that's part of the reason why my posts have been so spuradic as of late.

Anyway, back to the game at hand. We just reached the 2 minute warning in the first half, and I've yet to see a single postive in this game. We are bad. Unbearably, unwatchably bad. A recap so far.... according to my text messages/facebook wall, as they are infinitly more exciting than anything I'm actually seeing on the tv.

Text from Brother: Dawson and Lewis are out
Text from Brother: Blah

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text from me to friend from Columbus (who is football neutral towards both the Browns and Bengals... which is lame): This game is going to be brutal
Text from me to Columbus: I am not a happy Girl Out of Cleveland
Response from friend: Looks like it... I'm sorry

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text from friend that lives in DC: At the game totally got booed
Text from friend that lives in DC: 1 browns suck 2 there are MAYBE a handful of people in baltimore w class 3 there are less in Pittsburgh.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Response to my facebook status (which currently reads: "It's sunday... which means I'm suffering through a Browns game) from another friend that lives in DC: For some reason, DC isn't playing the Baltimore game so I had to come to a bar. It really helps drown the sorrows, thus killing two birds with one stone.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Halftime. 20 - 0. Ratbirds.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Looks like the second half Browns showed up in the first half this week... Maybe luck will be on our side and we'll come out looking like an actual football team in the second half, but I'm not holding my breath. I can probably go ahead and write about the second half now, during halftime, without even having to watch it.

Let's predict:

On the Browns first possession of the half, they surprise me and show some promise. They actually manage to get the ball down the field and into the red zone. After 3 miserable attempts to score, we kick a field goal. Actually, that gives me an epiphany. I know why we're scoreless so far. Dawson is out. Our offense is basically built around him. Without him, we're not entirely sure how to put points on the board.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text to Brother: We suck. Do we even count as a football team right now?
Text from Brother: No- but at least we aren't Detroit.
Text to Brother: But sadly Detroit is up 10 to 0 right now... the Redskins are probably saying to themselves at least we're not Cleveland
Text from Brother: I'm gonna cry.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Oh. F*ing NO. DA is in. SERIOUSLY? I am not entirely sure I can even watch this game, scratch that, this team anymore. Although he just made a completion. I can't even handle this. CLEARLY the solution all of our problems is to start playing games with our QBs. At least I want to throw things again! I am not advocating Quinn. I'm not even entirely against DA playing, but this back and forth is not going to cut it. ARGHHH. DA intercepted.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Me to Columbus friend: This isn't even a game. I am disgusted. We are easily the worst team in the NFL right now. Even the lions are winning :(
Me to Columbus friend: They haven't won a game since 2007. Take a minute and think about that... My team is worse than that
Columbus friend: Lol this is true

Yep. Sounds about right.

New facebook status: "Oh here's an idea! LETS PUT IN DA! Don't act like you were surprised when he threw an interception. FML. jfskdafj;asfjs;alfkl;"
Response by friend: I want to run Mangini out of town with a mob and pitchforks.

Yep. Sounds about right.

I'm done. I can't honestly have to shut this off. Right now studying for my CPA exam is the less painful option to this game. I'm not sure if this is what hell is like, but I'm assuming its pretty close.

Here we go Brownies?

2009-09-18T11:25:00.007-04:00

Ok. So down to business. No more failed experiments trying to write about other things. I write about the Browns. No more sugarcoating.

Despite my lack of talking about the game here, I was giddy with excitement for the start of a new Browns season. For the first time in 8 years, I, Girl out of Cleveland, am Girl in Cleveland (at least temporarily, oh dear lord, I hope only temporarily). And if I have to be back in Cleveland, I can't think of a better time than on the cusp of a long, cold, gray winter. And sadly, I'm not even kidding, because in Cleveland, that means I'm here for my favorite season.... BROWNS SEASON!!!!

The tailgate was planned. We stayed at a friend's downtown so we could be at the muni lot bright and early. I even made "Here We Go Brownies" (brownies which I attempted to spell out "here we go Brownies" on in mini m&m's... you couldn't really tell what they said, but we knew... it was the thought that counts, and they tasted amazing in our 9am beer buzz).

If you have never walked through the muni lot at 8am on game day, you are truly missing out. I usually tailgate in the Pit, but the pilgrimage through the muni lot is something every Browns fan must experience. As a displaced Browns fan who has been living in NYC the past 3 years, the most Browns fans I'm used to seeing in one place is the upstairs of the UES Blondie's (miss you NYC Browns backers!!!). The muni lot is Blondies on the grandest of scales. But just like Blondie's, there's a camaraderie, and that's what I love most about Clevelanders. Anyone wearing brown and orange is instantly a friend. People high fiving you as you walk past, joining in on a loud round of barking, sharing the plentiful amounts of food and beer that they have brought for the pre-game festivities, we're truly one big Cleveland family. An admittedly dysfunctional family, but a family none-the-less. It sounds cheesy, but that's part of what I love most about being a Cleveland fan.

Anyway, moving on. Thanks to solid 4+ hours of tailgating, I was definitely sprited by the time kickoff rolled around. Those with tickets to the game headed into the stadium, and those of us without headed to the nearest establishment with a TV to watch the opening drive. As we moved the ball down the field, my excitement continued to grow. Until the field goal team came out and we settled for 3 when we should have had 7. Why do I have deja vu when I type that phrase? Oh yea, because I found myself saying that EVERY FREAKING GAME LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While most people were happy we got points on the board, I was ready to throw my half full bottle of tasty hops and barley across the bar. No! No! and NO! again.

This was not the foot I wanted to start off on. TOUCHDOWNS. The key to winning football games is SCORING TOUCHDOWNS. I know what you are thinking, its the first drive of regular season, too early to get this heated. Well I say screw you! As I stated previously, I have decided that I hate Mangini until he proves himself otherwise. While in the eyes of the law, you are innocent until proven guilty, as a Browns coach, you are the devil until proven otherwise. I love my Browns win or lose, so as a coach, you become my scapegoat. Hey Mangini, despite what Romeo may have told you on his way out, here in Cleveland we prefer 7 points to 3.

Having put some points on the board, my motley crew and I decided to move on to a more lively establishment. We hurried along, and repositioned ourselves at a more festive venue filled with like minded fans. We shook our heads and consoled each other as our meager lead became a tie, and then as Mr. Peterson showed us he meant business and the Vikings took the lead.

Then we got a tease of the Edwards of past. An awesome catch, and in the endzone? AND. THE. CROWD. WENT. WILD. Until, in typical Browns fashion, our TD was overturned and we again SETTLED FOR 3 FREAKING POINTS. Don't get me wrong. I love Phil Dawson. Phil Dawson for president. But I almost cringe when I see him head out onto the field, especially when we're close enough to a touchdown to taste it. And I think I might start to have the same reaction when I see the Cribbs formation, whatever it is we're calling it. Because if something doesn't work once... let's try it again!

While I may start to cringe when I see Cribbs on offense, I will never tire of seeing him razzle dazzle on special teams, especially when that allows us to take the lead heading into the half. This time the entire bar does explode. Celebrations and barking all around.

I'd like to think as the clock expired for the half that that's where the game ended. I like these new Browns, I would say. Mr. Mangini, while you do not have my 100% approval rating yet, you are one step closer to not being the devil, I would say. The city of Cleveland would continue in a happy buzz, and I would have a smile on my face as I began my week.

Sadly, this was not the case, as our boys were still in preseason mode. They forgot that the second half actually counts now. The starters need to come back out and play like the did in the first half, and not sit around on the bench and watch the backups and soon-to-be cuts do their thing.

Hey guys, WAKE UP. This isn't preseason. This isn't 2008. This is 2009 REGULAR SEASON FOOTBALL. We play football. For 4 full quarters. We continue to score. And not just those field goal things we let the guy who wears the number 4 kick. We score TOUCHDOWNS. And not just the ones we the guy who wears number 16 run halfway across the field after the other team kicks to us, or the ones we count on our defense to steal from the other team. That guy who likes to appear in pictures without his shirt on? Yea, that one, the one that Romeo didn't know his name? Yea, that guy. We let him throw the ball, and hope that the guy who likes to drop balls decides to hold onto them. Occasionally, we let some of the other guys out there with them take the ball and run with it. We do this while the rest of the people on the field get in the way of guys wearing different colored jerseys. That's how we win football games. And we do this before the final minutes of the game, where it's clearly a last ditch effort just to save face. Let's get a little crazy next week and actually try this. Ok?

I am not going to even try and discuss details of the second half. At this point I had probably had as many beers for the day as the Browns has scored points. Somewhere in the fourth quarter, as I was counting out how many points we needed to win on my fingers, I concluded that it was mathematically impossible for us to win even if we were a Superbowl Champion team playing a pee wee football team, and turned my attention back to said beers. You've got to numb the pain somehow. Lucky for me I had an entire bar filled with a support group and shoulders to cry on.

I will say, I saw some improvements over last year. No matter how insignificant to the outcome of the game, an offense touchdown is a step in the right direction. For part of the game at least, it looked like we actually were playing smart football. Our D made some key plays. This is not going to be a Cinderella season, but it's not going to be the train wreck last year was. Going into Denver this week, assuming we play football for 4 quarters, we could produce a W. I'm confident about that. So while week 1 left me disappointed, it does not leave me without hope.

Here we go Brownies?

Ramblings of a frustrated Browns fan and Week 1 picks

2009-09-10T15:20:00.019-04:00

Sigh....

Here we go again....

So I was all excited to do a one year anniversary post. I've had this blog for a year now. I've done my best to post to it fairly regularly, which is sometimes easier than others. Over the past month or so though, I've found it very difficult to motivate myself for one reason or another. I have started numerous posts, never to finish. I have come up with even more great ideas for posts, never to make it to paper (or screen, or whatever). I was gearing up for my big "IT'S FINALLY BROWNS SEASON" post. And then I find out yesterday that the news of the Browns starting quarterback broke. That in and of itself is not the issue at hand. I knew Mangini said he was going to keep it under wraps until Sunday. I had no doubt in my mind that it would leak before then. It was how this news came to light that really just made me shake my head and wonder where this team is going.

If you haven't heard, Brady Quinn is our starting quarterback. And we have Terrell Owens and his twitter page to thank for that. What. The. F*$@!? There are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. First of all, my extreme aversion to all things twitter. Second of all, my extreme aversion to all things T.O. I realize that T.O. probably had no real connection to this story and was just trying to cause trouble, because that's what T.O. does best. Still though, as a coach, why did Mangini even present the opportunity for something like this to happen? I have been fairly indifferent about most things surrounding this team since about midway through last season, but this just irks me.

I have been fairly indifferent about the whole quarterback situation in general, something uncharacteristic of me. I usually pick a side, and defend it with all my heart and soul, even long after it is apparent I have chosen the wrong side. In this case, I just wanted to see what was best for the team. I was happy to see Romeo go, yes, but I was fairly indifferent about the prospects as the Browns were attempting to choose a replacement. I just wanted to see what was best for the team. When Mangini started cleaning house, I didn't get worked up about who he did and didn't get rid of. Our team was pretty abysmal, I wasn't that attached to anyone, and I just wanted to see what was best for the team. I think you see the trend here...

Well Mangini's latest escapades are not what's best for the team. Like I said, it's not who is or isn't starting that I have a problem with. Its how he handled the situation. He is not starting off on a good foot with notoriously hard to please fans. Not only were you keeping information from the fans for no disernable reason, but you have once again opened the floodgates of everyone that loves to make us the punchline of their jokes. You are losing respect as a coach and as a team leader. Playing games is not going to work here.

Well Mr. Mangini, I am going to go on record right here, right now. On September 10th 2009, I, Girl Out of Cleveland, officially declare my hate for you. Actually, I will go so far as to borrow some choice words from a certain former GM, "Go (back) and root for the Jets... F&#@ You!" Now don't worry, this hate is not irreversible. Quite the contrary actually. I don't want to hate you. I think that you have potential to do good things for this team. This hate is more of a challenge. I challenge you to change my mind. Prove all of the horrible things I am already starting to think of you wrong. You have exactly 16 weeks to prove me wrong. A word of advice to you, start doing this early. Like say, Sunday. Show us that you've been working hard, and that it's paying off.

Now that that is out of my system, here are my thoughts going into Week 1 of the NFL season.

One of my favorite things about football season is reading Bill Simmons' weekly picks column. So I've decided that this year, I'm going to make weekly picks myself.

My NFL knowledge is kind of like a pyramid. Most of my knowledge is about the Browns, then the rest of the AFC North teams (I like to be well informed in my extreme hatred and trash talking of the rest of the teams in our division). Next comes my knowledge of your superstars and controversial teams and players, and atop my NFL pyramid, my "use sparingly", is the rest of the NFL. I just don't care enough about mediocre players on teams whose paths the Browns do not cross to waste my time on them (one of the reasons I am so scared of fantasy football, because it would make these teams and playeres relevant, turning my pyramid into more of gigantic orb that I would constantly being itching to grow).

Anyway, that being said, take my picks for what they're worth. They will be based on inconsistent knowledge, personal bias, the mood I'm in, the time of day I decide to post, the weather, the S&P 500, what color I'm wearing, and the price of rice in China.

Anyway, on to my picks:

(Oh one other thing to be noted, my knowledge of point spreads falls somewhere between my 2-3 servings of superstars and scandals and my use sparingly rest of NFL knowledge, so hopefully I don't mess this up! Also I haven't read yet, and don't plan on reading Simmons' pick columns before I write mine, but I'm going compare how I do against him for the season)

TONIGHT:

PITTSBURG -6.5 over Tennesee
As much as I hate the Steelers, and would love to pick them to crash and burn out of spite, I think they've got this one in the bag. Defending Superbowl champs, at home, against a team that I was not impressed by in the preseason (and one of the few I actually observed in the preseason since we played them)

SUNDAY

Miami +4 over ATLANTA
I like the Dolphins here. They did a complete 180 last season from where they were they year before, and I respect that. Actually, scratch that, I envy that. I'm waiting for that from the Browns.

BALTIMORE -13 over Kansas City
Again, I hate to pick a despised team, but they're good. And the Chiefs suck. I think.

CAROLINA +2.5 over Philadelphia
Honestly, I'm going with Carolina because they are the home team, their mascot is an animal, and the Eagles (I guess also an animal, but that's irrelevant) have Vick. I see the fans doing a lot of booing even if Vick can't play until week 3 or whatever it is. Also, I'm making this all up as I go along.

Denver +4 over CINCINNATI
Between Hardknocks, Ochocinco and his twittering, and the ugly uniforms, the Bengals have a lot of distractions. I say they choke. And by I say they choke, I mean I will take great joy in seeing them choke.

CLEVELAND +4 over Minnesota
Oh dear. Please Brownies, don't make me regret this. I'll post again before Sunday with my thoughts on the game.

HOUSTON -4.5 over NY Jets

INDIANAPOLIS -7 over Jacksonville

NEW ORLEANS -13 over Detroit
At least we're not Detroit!!! Talk about B-A-D.

Dallas -6 over TAMPA BAY
Not a Cowboys fan by any stretch, but now that Romo doesn't have Ms. Simpson to worry about, I see him having a pretty good year. And this will make my Dallas friend(s) happy.

ARIZONA -6.5 over San Francisco

NY GIANTS -6.5 over Washington
The Giants are my NY team of choice, and I think they'll be good this year. I will back them for their home opener. Even though their home is in the dirty Jerz instead of actual NY. And they have to share that home with another team. I am willing to look the other way and have faith they come out on top.

SEATTLE -8.5 over St. Louis

Chicago +3.5 over GREEN BAY
This should actually be a really great game, especially to watch in prime time to wind down a rowdy Sunday. I'm going to go out on a limb and pick DA BEARS! It's just a gut feeling, and what the price of rice in China indicates is the most probable outcome.

MONDAY

NEW ENGLAND -11 over Buffalo
Firing personnel right before your opener will not win you confidence in my book. And Brady's back and looking to prove himself. Pats should take this one easily.

San Diego -9.5 over OAKLAND
I was tempted to give Oakland the benefit of the doubt here and say they could at least keep it to within one touchdown. But my old doorman was a Raiders fan and he would lament to me about them on a regular basis. To the point that I feel like I know the team well enough to know they will not keep it to within one touchdown. Not that anyone in the Eastern Time Zone is planning on staying awake for this one anyway.

So there you have it. My first attempt at picking NFL games. And deciphering Vegas spreads. If this week goes well, maybe I can find a new career in betting?

More on the Browns, my thoughts, fears, concerns, and what I'm looking forward to over the next few days.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOOTTBBBAALLLL???

2009-09-03T14:16:00.004-04:00

Ok. So I have zero excuses for not writing lately. Football season is officially upon us. And I'm not currently working. The combination of those two things should be leaving you with more posts than you care to read. But such has not been the case. I have not really had anything funny or interesting to comment on this pre-season. But with the start of college football tonight, and the last Browns preseason game, I figured I should throw something out there to all my loyal fans.

So here you go. I'm going to give you my run down on preseason so far, and what I'm looking forward to this coming season. And a special added feature at the end for the aspiring Browns fans out there (they exist... more on this when the time comes)

First things first. What has come to be a recurring theme in Berea in recent years, The QB Competition. Because it wouldn't be preseason without a little controversy surrounding the oh so important job of starting QB.

I just really don't even have much to say on this. I feel like I'm just rehashing what I always say. Its frustrating that we have a new coach who still can't make a decision to back either quarterback. I understand he wanted to be fair and give each guy an equal chance at the job. But didn't Derek Anderson have an entire season to prove himself last year? He sure as hell didn't prove himself to me. Not that Brady Quinn did either, but he didn't see as much playing time as DA last year. I'm not 100% a Quinn fan, but I'd like to see what he can do so we can end this debate once and for all and we can decide if he was worth it. And plus, with him gracing the covers of such fine publications like "muscle fitness" how can we go wrong? After tonight, hopefully we will know with some certainty and we won't have to resort to coin flipping.

As for the rest of the offense, I won't go as far as to say I'm excited by what I've seen, but I do see improvements. I haven't been able to watch much of preseason other than recaps here and there because I was in Boston for the first and at a wedding for the second. Last weeks game against the Titans was really the only impression I have of the team. But offensive touchdowns are always a good thing.

Defense is still pretty meh in my book. I mean they got some good plays in but there's still quite a few weak points. And if I was a fantasy football person, I don't think I'd be scrambling to pick the Browns as my defense. We've got some good tools to work with though and hopefully we can improve as the season progresses. (side note on fantasy sports: I wanted soooo badly to do fantasy football this year, but am too afraid it will consume my life. To an unhealthy degree) I tried a failed experiment at fantasy baseball this year, but I lack the passion for baseball that I have for footbal. I ended up letting Yahoo autodraft for me and forgetting I even had a team until about a week ago... oops!)

Ok well I wanted to write in more detail, but I guess that's going to have to wait until after the game, which will include my much anticipated new feature which will be somewhat of an idiots guide for the new Browns fan, inspired by a friend of mine who has expressed desire to become a Browns fan this year. She's going to need all the help she can get! :)

Shaq Vs

2009-08-19T17:25:00.013-04:00

Ok, I'll address the elephant in the room first. We sucked Saturday. End of story. I was in Boston where apparently its against the law to televise any sporting event that does not involve a New England team, so all of my updates were via text. It got to the point I stopped checking my phone because it was killing my buzz. I'll go with the blanket "preseason doesn't count" and move on.

My regular readers know of my growing fascination with Shaquille O'Neal. So here is my recap of his new show, which debuted last night on ABC. In case you missed it, don't worry. I took notes (sadly, I am serious) and will fill you in on all the unintentional (or maybe intentional) comedy that you missed.

Right off the bat, we were treated with a gem of a quote by Mr. O'Neal himself: "This is Shaquille O'Neal, the greatest athlete ever formed. Look it up... google it"

They go on to introduce Ben Rothlisberger, superbowl champion, to which Shaq replies, "Why you gotta throw that in there... super bowl champion??" My thoughts exactly.

This is followed by some friendly trash talking between the two, including Shaq telling America he is a better quarterback then Ben Rothlisberger, and Big Ben telling Shaq that he throws like a girl scout. One of the funnier parts of this segment shows Shaq leaning out a window in a car to some random girls asking them who is better, him or Ben, the girls shriek and scream "YOU!!".

It's at this point I notice we're only about 10 minutes into the show, and while I'm sufficiently entertained thus far, I can't help but think that it is completely unnecessary for this show to be an entire hour long. We clearly could have squished trash talking and the subsequent athletic feat into a half hour. But where's the fun in that I guess?

Next we have some overly dramatic announcers on a cheesy set who I can only hope are taking themselves too seriously in an self aware, ironic sort of way. The phrase "ultimate in cross training" is thrown around quite a bit, so hopefully that equates to success come basketball season.

Another Shaq quote as they show various training montages, "No one's ever got in Ben's head... I will" If this is the case, sign him up for the Browns! THE 2010 CLEVELAND BROWNS, led fearlessly by Shaquille O'Neal and LeBron James (thanks State Farm for that idea, which I will now never let go!)... I'm in!!!

So finally we learn what the rules of this little competition are going to be. Each one of them will QB a team in a traditional 7 on 7 game of football. Big Ben starts from the 40 yard line, and Shaq starts from the 20, but that is the only handicap. Two hand touch, no rushing, no field goals, only passing and you either score a TD or get stopped by the defense. Each QB gets 3 possessions, highest score wins.

Aside: I was watching this with one of my girlfriends and at this point we were having a discussion on how in general the quarterback is usually one of the more attractive players on the field. Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Brady 'pretty boy' Quinn, hell, even Tim Couch, who I hated with a passion wasn't so bad to look at. But Big Ben? Ick!

Anyway, moving on. Shaq has to do some of the combine drills and we learn (surprise surprise) that he's pretty freaking slow. But he does "possess a certain lateral quickness" and the announcers comment on how impressive it is for a 7 foot tall guy to move like that. So maybe that's good news for our Cavs?

Now comes the real competition. After a coin toss, it's decided Shaq gets the ball first. It takes him 3 downs, but TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Cavs now officially stand a better chance of scoring an offensive touchdown than the Browns do. Dear Mangini, please sign Shaq as he already has more TD passes than both of our two potential starters combined.

Ben's first possession takes a few more attempts, probably due to the fact that he's starting from further away, and he too scores a TD. Shaq's next possession is pretty boring, but yields another TD. So now going into Big Ben's 2nd possession, Shaq is up 14-7.

Ben gains a yard on the first down, and on 2nd and 9 he throws the ball, when all of a sudden... SHAQ FOR THE INTERCEPTION!!!!!!!!!! (from the sideline?!?!)

As the announcers put it, "Shaq was thinking outside the box, and WAY outside the rule book. That was in no way legal. Creative, but illegal" I freaking love it though. Amazing. I want sideline interceptions from our bench every game. Ben goes on to throw a TD (the defense is horrible, this is a little too realistic for my liking) and tie it up.

On Shaq's final possession, he decides to get a little crafty again and becomes a receiver?! "He drives down the field like a 7 foot gazelle... just look at those soft hands" (again, I hope these announcers are taking this so seriously to be ironic, but I'm not entirely sure). So we've now learned that not only can Shaq take the place of our QB, but he can also take the place of Braylon Edwards as well. I really really really hope that Mangini includes this when he's going through film with the team this week in Berea.

The rest of Shaq's final possession is not quite as impressive. He throws an incomplete pass to the end zone, followed by a pump fake resulting in an interception. Now that looks more like a Cleveland QB.

Big Ben scores on his final possession to win the game, and I find myself screaming at the TV "THIS IS FIXED!!!!"

You know what though, it was probably closer than it should have been. So eat that Pittsburgh!

So my verdict on the show? It was mildly entertaining, and something to watch on a Tuesday night in the summer when nothing else was on. It made me like Shaq a little more and Ben Rothelisbrger a little less. Like I said before, all of this probably could have been accomplished in a half hour, but I will probably tune in again next week when he faces Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh for a beach volleyball match. Although I think I was drawn to this weeks episode not just for Shaq, but for the common enemy component.

And even though Big Ben may have won, as my friend watching the game with me so observantly noted, "Yea, but who looked better in football pants? SHAQ!"

Hot Sauce in my Baaag

2009-08-14T15:43:00.002-04:00

If you haven't seen this yet, take the next 7 minutes of your day to watch it immediately....

Mr. West at his finest. Glad to see he's keeping a healthy diet in the off season

Training Camp: Close Encounters Edition

2009-08-05T20:44:00.004-04:00

I haven't lived in Cleveland in the summer since I've been 19, but every year, I make a trip home to go to training camp. I consider it a pilgrimage of sorts. This year's pilgrimage is a bit different in nature, but we'll touch on that at a later date.

But I digress. Like I said, I go to training camp every summer. My family lives in Berea, so they're literally right down the road. That being said, when I go, I usually just show up in the middle of a practice, watch some drills or a scrimmage from the opposite end of the field, make a few remarks to whoever I drag up there with me, and call it a day.

This year was different. A friend of mine is a club seat holder and invited me to go to Tuesday's practice for club seat appreciation day. We showed up close to on time, and made our way towards the sidelines. We found ourselves literally 2 feet from where the practice was being held. Even though we were just watching drills or a simulated scrimmage without full on hitting, I was in awe. Being that close to the action was awesome.

I don't really have a whole lot to comment on football wise. Its still early on in training camp. I will say that from what I saw, it's either good news for our offense, or bad news for our defense. I'm hoping for the former. As has been the story in Cleveland for the past few years, "the starting quarter back job is up for grabs" so it was nice to see both DA and BQ getting reps. DA appears to be leading the race right now, but I have a feeling this is a day to day thing. I will say that the receivers were making both of them look pretty good though. On one play BQ threw into coverage, and the receiver managed to catch it, one handed, around the defender. One of the more impressive receptions I've seen from a Brown in quite some time. And speaking of Browns receivers, it was nice to see Braylon way off in the distance on the stationary bike (note: that sentence was dripping in sarcasm)

Back to being so close to the action. Like I said, we were literally 2 feet from the "sidelines" where the players were subbing in and out. Close enough to hear the comments they were making to each other. Close enough to hear them being berated by the coaches. And close enough to realize how FREAKING HUGE they are. Now don't get me wrong. I have known many football players (high school and college) in my day, and realize that they are larger than the average human being. But some of these guys are just absolutely BEASTLY.

The biggest and beastliest of them all being Shaun Rogers. I'm pretty sure I've commented in the past on his size and how I would not want him barreling towards me. But being close enough to him to reach out and touch him, I'm convinced that he is not entirely human. I think he is some strange man/bear hybrid. I mean one of his legs is the size of my entire body. And he LOST 40 lbs this off season. I have a new found love/respect of this man for his sheer size alone. When a player commits a penalty at training camp, they have to run a lap. When man/bear Rogers was sentenced to such a fate, my one friend made the comment "why does he get to walk his lap". I replied with, "I'm pretty sure that is him running". When you are the size of an industrial refrigerator, you're not exactly going to be setting any speed records. I am going to be spending some more time at training camp this summer, and my new goal is to get my picture taken next to him.

All in all it was a great day. I won a free hat, was able to appreciate training camp more than I ever have in the past, and got really pumped up for the up coming season. I love the excitement that comes with a new season. This year we've got a new coach, and a fresh start.

Here we go Brownies....

More Random Thoughts

2009-07-21T22:35:00.008-04:00

So until football season officially starts back up again (and in my mind, it officially starts back up once training camp begins), I think I'll just post some more random thoughts to pass the time. Although, I promise a Browns post of some substance and/or wit soon.

In the meantime, it has been a WEIRD few days in sports news. A run down:

1. Shaq
Seriously, this guy keeps getting better. I'm not to the point I'm running out and buying a jersey yet. But I find myself loving him more and more. He's on the Shaq Traq to my heart. (I promise this is funny in my head).

First, I find out he's got a reality show coming out where he will go up against superstar athletes in their respective sports. As if that's not going to be worth watching in and of itself, we go on to find out that one of the athletes he'll be pitted against is none other than Ben Roethlisberger. I will be glued to my tv in hopes that he just absolutely LEVELS the guy. It will instantly up him about 10 notches on the Shaq Traq.

Second, how can you look at this picture and not just laugh.

(from: http://deadspin.com/5318959/this-little-furry-will-be-shaqs-reality-show-sidekick)

I'm seriously considering making it my wall paper on my work computer. Next time my boss is being overly demanding or my client is being particularly annoying, I can just minimize the 30 Excel sheets I have open and Shaq and his panda friend will be smiling back at me.

2. Big Ben
Shaq is the LEAST of this guys worries. If you count on ESPN for all your sports news, you have no idea what I'm talking about, as they have declined to report on this story. The story has unfolded pretty much like something on a soap opera though from the various stories I've seen throughout the day. Basically, to sum things up, an employee of a casino/hotel that he stayed at a year ago has accused him of sexual assult in a civil suit. She isn't the most credible of sources from what I've read, making wild accusations against her co-workers, and seeking therapy for being in love with a guy who didn't exist (um, yea, you heard that right). I make note of this as I'm sure it will be the subject of many tasteless jokes (from myself or otherwise) in the future.

3. Kellen Winslow's Balls
Yep. We're talking about this. Again. Even though this is old news, he apparently gave an interview with ESPN the magazine. It wasn't staph, that was a cover up. He did have some kind of weird infection of his balls and his suspension, which was later rescinded was probably warranted. If I was Phil Savage, I would have told him "Go root for your testicles.... F&@! you!"
All I have to say is glad he's gone.

4. Best Sports Story I've seen in awhile
Check it out yourself. I can't do it justice.

5. Last but not least, the above mentioned SHAQ TRAQ:
(click it to make it bigger)

Actually, I lied, one last thing. A semi advertisement. If you're looking for anything sports related (MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL, etc, ect), apparel, accessories, mugs, gifts, pretty much anything you can imagine, head on over to bigflysports.com (see link to the left). One of the guys associated with the site is a sometimes reader of this here little blog and fellow Cleveland fan. If you used the code: CLVNDGRL you'll get 10% off your purchase. Check it out!

Random Shaq (and other) Thoughts

2009-07-02T15:49:00.000-04:00

I've been MIA as of late. Partially because of work. Partially because with the Cavs and Browns dormant, and the Indians being the suck-tastic mess that they are this year, I haven't had a whole lot to say. But I'm stuck at the airport right now (oh the joys of LaGuardia airport) so I figured what better time than to share my thoughts on the Cavs news addition. (Well newest addition that anyone has previously heard of.)

Just a week ago, I hated Shaq. I was ok with our acquisition of him from a strategic standpoint. Basically a zero risk move in terms of what we gave up and what we got. A proven (although aging) superstar player with one year left on his contract? Bravo. Let me take you through my ever evolving feelings towards the newest Cavalier.

I don't really know where my hatred of Shaq originally stemmed from. Pretty much the only reason for me to hate you as an athlete is for you to be either 1. You are a complete douche bag (ex. TO) or 2. You are talented and a member of a rival team (ex. Rothlisberger... rivals, Miami Universtiy/Shitsburg). While some might argue that Orlando and LA are rivals of the current Cavs team, they weren't when Shaq played for them. And he's far less douchy than many other players out there. So I think my hate was unfounded. I think that Kazaam may have had something to do with it, but who knows.

A (New York Knick's fan) co-worker made the comment "You're not going to win championships with Shaq". I beg to differ my friend. We weren't winning championships with Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic. And who are you to talk? You're not winning championships with anyone on the current Knicks roster. Also, I'm pretty sure you DO win championships with Shaq. Just ask any one of his four championship rings.

So over the past week, I've been trying to warm up to the idea of Shaq. And after spending my evening at happy hour(s) last Friday, I came home and proceeded to familiarize myself with the lyrical genius that his rap career is founded upon. And you know what? It kind of worked. (Go ahead and surf on over to YouTube and put on something in the background... go ahead... I'll wait.....) This guy is growing on me. Move over Bone Thugs N Harmony, Cleveland's got a new rapper in town!

And he's so freaking quotable. Apparently, while he hasn't had any ACTUAL physical conversations with LeBron, he's been talking with him mentally.

And today's press conference? Golden.

http://www.cleveland.com/cavs/index.ssf/2009/07/quotes_from_shaquille_oneal_du.html

Some highlights for those of you too lazy to click on over:

"Right now, my motto is 'Win a Ring for the King."

"... Everyone knows this is LeBron's team. I'm not trying to come in and change that. ... I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do."

Or in other word, Witness Protection (Note: I didn't come up with this nickname myself, but I love it!)

I'm pretty sure that before this season is over, I'll be a converted Shaq fan.

Other random tidbits:

Indians. I think they have completely given up hope on this season. I mean I know I've given up. I don't think anyone really cares anymore. Blah.

Browns. Training camp soon. No idea who our QB is going to be. Nothing new there. Blah.

More Cavs. Ron Artest. Maybe? We'll see. That would be an interesting mix. Lebron's mom better not act up with him on the team. We know how he likes to put fans in their place.

Also, I really want Andy back. I love the guy, what can I say. I like that we're trying to build our championship team, but one thing that worked so well for us last year was chemistry. We need to keep our core players and not lose that. Re-signing Andy is a must. Plus, I love his hair.

Ok that's about it. And since I haven't posted in awhile, here's some bad photoshopping for you as an added bonus.

Shaquille O'Neal's much anticipated sequel!! Cavs-zaam: Rings for the King

Gloria feeling the wrath of 'Bron bron and Ron:

This just in: Tribe signs new player

2009-06-13T12:08:00.000-04:00

Utility outfielder C. Gull was called up from the minors this week.

A Tribute to Dick Jacobs

2009-06-06T13:36:00.000-04:00

The Jake. That’s what I will always lovingly refer to the stadium in which the Cleveland Indians play. Now more than ever. Dick Jacobs, the man behind the revival of the tribe, passed away on Friday. He earned himself a place in Cleveland history.

The developer behind such notable Cleveland icons such as the Key Tower and the Galleria, he helped rebuild a city and a team. Like many Clevelanders, I have many fond memories of Tribe games growing up. His legacy will live on. Thank you, Mr. Jacobs. Rest in peace.

Charles Barkley's a Round Mound of Bitterness!

2009-05-29T13:16:00.000-04:00

Let's take last night, and repeat it twice. Minus that 3rd quarter stuff. What I said in my last post still applies. If you haven't read it yet, do so. But in the meantime, enjoy this:

A perfect union of my love of Mike Polk (the guy that brought you the Hasitly Made Cleveland Tourism Videos) and my distaste for Charles Barkley!

Now Is Not the Time to Be Pessimistic

2009-05-28T10:10:00.000-04:00

Self loathing. Self pity. Misery. Depression. Angst. Strife. Agony.

These are all words that the Cleveland sports fan knows all to well. But I'm here to tell you right now, FORGET THEM.

It's easy to (again) dismiss a season as over, to start lamenting and grumbling "next year". Resist that temptation. Now more than ever we need to stand behind this team. I'm not talking about all of the bandwagon "LeBron" fans out there. I expect this from all of you. I know who you are. You are the ones to whom the names Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, and Larry Nance mean nothing. You are the people sitting in the row behind us at game two that we yelled at for the last five minutes of that game to get off your fat asses and stand up and cheer. You are the people who are kicking yourselves for getting up and walking out or shutting off the game when we were down by two with one second left. You are the ones who dismissed this series as over after game one. No. I'm not talking to you. You've jumped ship, and you will not be welcomed back when we persevere.

I'm talking to the true CLEVELAND fans out there. Those of you that year after year endure the fates of the Cavs, Browns and Indians, and year after year return to cheer on your team. Those of you that remember the old days of the Coliseum. Those of you that coped with the struggles of the 90s team. Those of you that have been following King James since his days at St. V, salivating at the fact that there was a chance that he'd end up here. Those of you that win or lose, better or worse, are not afraid to stand up and say, yes, I'm a Cleveland Fan. Yes. I'm talking to you.

Let's not abandon this team now. Since moving from Cleveland, I've noticed something. This city has this quality to bring people together that I don't see anywhere else. Clevelanders have a common bond. Our loyalty to our teams is part of that. This Cavs team has helped revive our city. Attending the first two games of this series, I noticed how alive it felt. Let's not lose that. I spent entirely more money than I should have to attend those first two games, and if I was still in Cleveland, I'd spend even more to go tonight. I'd sell my kidney on the black market if I had to. We have the home court ADVANTAGE. Get out there and make it that.

So tonight when Mo, Z, Andy, West and King James take the floor, what are you going to do? Cheer twice as loud. Clap twice as hard. Give the Cavs energy to feed off of. Show this Magic team and everyone watching that Cleveland is proud. We refuse to go down without a fight.

Sports thoughts for the ADD mind

2009-05-26T10:43:00.000-04:00

I don't have the time or attention span to post much of anything right now, but here's some quick thoughts on some things, ADD style...

Western Conference Finals: at least the Lakers are struggling too....

Indians come-from-behind win: !!!??? um ok? I'll take it

Eastern Conference Finals: I'm terrified. Keep me away from bridges if we lose tonight.

Other Cavs News: Hey China, SHOW ME THE MONEY!

I'd go on but..

.... OOH something shiny....

This will NEVER get old

2009-05-23T12:40:00.000-04:00

I will be eating ramen for the next month, because I spent all my money on Cavs tickets. I have priorities you know. I debated whether or not to attend the game last night. I was pretty sure I was bad luck. But I had this gut feeling that told me I didn't want to miss this game. A part of me knew that something was going to happen, and I wanted to be able to say "I was there for that". Absolutely 110% worth it.

And the city of Cleveland let out a collective sigh

2009-05-21T09:44:00.000-04:00

Ugh. I didn't even want to write about this. But I feel like its my duty. At the very least, this blog has been an outlet for me to lament my misery, so why stop now?

It all started out so well. There was definitely magic (with a lower case "m") in the air at the Q, and it had nothing to do with Orlando. (No, just because we lost, I will not spare you the cheese).

But the game started off weird from the beginning. About a minute into it, Dwight Howard (more ranting on him to come) decided to start breaking things. An overly aggressive slam brought down the shot clock on the backboard. To make things fair, the one on the opposite basket was shut off, and two clocks on the floor were used the remainder of the first half. DH, didn't your mother ever tell you that when you go to play at someone else's house, its not nice to break their things?

After a little show from the maintenance crew at the Q, the Cavs lit up the first quarter. The crowd was electric. At one point a friend of my brother's, who does regular reporting on the Cavs and is in the press box at nearly every game, sent him a text that said he'd never heard the place as loud as it was at the end of the first quarter. I believe it. I don't know if I've ever had that much fun at a game.

The second quarter the Magic woke up a little bit, but we still managed to play strong. I turned to my brother at one point and told him, I just want to be up by 15 at the half. Up by 12 with the clock expiring, Mo Williams launched up a truly amazing shot, sinking it from behind the half court line just as the buzzer sounded. I got my wish. The place went nuts. This is what playoff basketball is all about.

And
.....then
...........things
...................went
.........................downhill.

I really don't even want to talk about the second half. It was like watching the most fun two quarters of play imaginable, and then getting punched in the stomach repeatedly for the next two. If I had balls, I'd imagine that's what it would feel like to be kicked in them.

I don't know if it was that we got over confident, having come to expect easy wins, or what. Our defense got sloppy. Orlando's shots started falling. And we were in trouble. I understand we don't have an answer to Dwight Howard, but that's not an excuse. I officially HATE Dwight Howard. What kind of name is Dwight Howard anyway? He's like odd combination of a dorky Office character and a duck. We need to be able to stop that. Also, LeBron had 49 points. I'm so sick of hearing people say that LeBron carries this team, because we have a lot of other talent. But last night he did. Hey everyone not named LeBron, do you hear that, STEP UP! I thought we've moved past this and learned to play as a team. Take a look in the stands. Those free t-shirts everyone is wearing, and towels we're waving all say "One Goal". Let's act that way, K?

In a discussion with a friend this morning about the game, he said we need to defend the 3. And I agree. What it ended up coming down to is they made theirs, and we missed ours. When it counted most. Launching up a 3 pointer with seconds left and down by 1 infuriated me. We hadn't been hitting them all night. I don't care how wide open you are, if you are not 110% sure that ball is going in, don't take it. Drive the lane, draw the foul, take your shots. Make them both we win. Worst case scenario, tie it up, go into OT. Dwight Howard had already fouled out. (I refuse to see missing them both as a possible outcome). But alas...

So my takeaways from last night. It sucked. A lot. But maybe it was the wake-up call that we needed. We knew we weren't going to be able to coast through this round like we did the last two. No team has ever swept all the way to the finals. We had to lose a game at some point. The NBA was not going to lose out on all that extra revenue because we wanted another 4 game series and week off between games. Yes, it sucked that it had to happen in our house. But maybe now we'll realize that this isn't Detroit or Atlanta. I see us taking this series in 6 games. Before last night I thought we could do it in 5, but I think Orlando's got one more game in them.

As we pulled into to the driveway last night, already heartbroken, i-pod shuffle decided to put its two cents in on the matter. (Hey i-pod shuffle, screw you!) The Rolling Stones, "You Can't Always Get What You Want" began to play, and all my brother and I could do was shake our heads and sigh. But you know what? When life gives you lemons... you make LeBron-ade. Ok yea, that only half makes sense, but whatever. GO CAVS.

Yea, It's Kind of Like That...

2009-05-20T12:08:00.000-04:00

Some random thoughts since I haven't posted in awhile.

So the Indians and the Browns make me want to bash my head against a brick wall. Actually, watch this:

Unlike Happy Gilmore, I love Bob Barker. Bob, I feel your pain buddy. This is kind of exactly how I feel about 2/3 Cleveland teams right now. The Indians seemed to take this woman's approach recently. We've got all the numbers there in front of us, so why not just mix them up in ways that don't make any sense? Seriously, reading this recap from a recent game, I felt like I was reading the plot line for Major League 4:

Sunday in Tampa Bay, the Indians' third baseman was playing first base, their shortstop was playing third base, their second baseman was playing shortstop, and their first baseman was playing left field.

And none of it was because of injuries.

Naturally, at a key point in the game, the opposing team's pitcher — don't ask — hit an RBI double over the head of the Indians' left fielder, who is actually their first baseman and was a catcher before that.

And I've had to create a new emotion to describe how I feel about the Browns. It's an odd combination of sad, angry and indifferent. We'll call it brown. Every time I read something about this team, it's how I feel. I feel brown. Every emotion has some type of sound associated with it. Happiness? Laughter. Sadness? Crying. Brown? this sound followed by a sigh. The latest debacle involves Josh Cribbs. And seriously, I just feel brown.

At least we've got the Cavs. Game one of the Eastern conference finals tonight. I'm in Cleveland all this week and I'll be at the Q tonight. I'm giddy with excitement. I love the atmosphere of playoff basketball. I've gone to at least one playoff game each of the past three years, and there's nothing quite like it. Like most people, I was hoping we'd be playing the Celtics. For revenge. The fact that I feel like it would have made for an easier series. The Magic have been giving us trouble all year. But again, we're on fire right now. We're coming off of an extended rest again. I saw an interview with LeBron last night where he was asked, Do you feel like you are the only one who can stop you right now? LeBron's response? I don't want to say that exactly. Well.... Actually... I do.

I. LOVE. IT. (Whether the you was a collective you meaning the Cavs, or LeBron himself is irrelevant)

So yea, there you have it.

The (new) Shot: Rewriting Cleveland's History

2009-05-07T14:35:00.001-04:00

Clevelanders, I'm sorry. I know this is one of those unspoken things in our history. But I had to bring it up. My cousin lamented about it in her facebook status today, so if its on my mind, you must commiserate with me.

Today marks the 20th anniversary of Th e Shot. If that doesn't immediately depress you, you're obviously one of my non-Cleveland friends that read my blog for my awesome photoshop skills (don't worry, we're getting to those). Warning to all Clevelanders, that link will make you cry. Don't read it!

But don't worry, this sad tale is not without a pick me up. With another edition of the LeBron show tonight, I'm hoping him and his supporting cast can rewrite history. So Cleveland fans behold:

This :
(sorry had to include for comparison purposes)

Becomes -->

(this guy is Atlanta Hawks rookie Thomas Gardner, he was #3, so it worked)

Becomes -->
(a preview of what's to come?)

GO CAVS!

Draft Day 2K9

2009-04-25T18:31:00.000-04:00

Even though it took us 30 years.... we've made our first pick. Nothing like an opportunity for some bad photoshopping.

Onto the 2nd round, where we have pretty much every freaking pick.

Public Service Announcement

2009-04-15T19:56:00.000-04:00

So I thought it would go away. But it hasn't. And I feel like the problem is getting worse. This problem is infiltrating all aspects of our society. It's already found its way into one of my favorite hobbies (drinking) and I'm terrified that it is only a matter of time before it infiltrates something else I hold near and dear, the world of sports.

So I'm calling upon you fellow sports fans to help me. This problem is pure evil. The mere thought of it invokes nightmares. It spans generations. Young and old alike.

If you haven't figured out what I'm talking about yet, it's the Snuggie. At first, I thought it was a cruel joke. Then I slowly started to realize that people were serious about this thing. A freaking blanket with sleeves?? You've got to be kidding me. Then I thought, well at least its appeal is limited to crazy people. But you know what? People that I (once) viewed as sane, logical individuals started telling me they wanted one or thought they were a great idea. UM NO! In the god awful commercial (one that almost parodies itself) for these things, it shows people at a sporting event wearing them. "Great for outdoors!" You know what else is great for outdoors? A COAT! And guess what… it also has sleeves! And you don't look like you're in some weird Scientology sect.

With spring baseball weather always questionable, and football season just around the corner (fall will be here sooner than you think), I'm terrified these atrocities are going to start showing up in the stands. So my call to you, loyal readers, is this:

The first time you spot one of these when you're in the stands cheering on your favorite team, and you know it's going to happen sooner or later, put a stop to it. I don't care if it’s a man twice your size, a woman, or a child. You must remedy the situation. Punch them in the face. Throw your beer on them. Squirt stadium mustard in the shape of a "z", Zorro style, all over it. (or maybe an "s", for snuggie). Whatever you do, make sure this person knows what a douche bag they are. Teach them a lesson. If not, this may be our future:

As if the Yankees fans aren't bad enough.

And if you're beside yourself with excitement because of the fact I posted twice today- its because this is also HERE at Straight up Sports, where 7 out of 8* bloggers agree, the Snuggie tarnishes even A.Rod's stellar public image.

*this statistic is totally made up

Thoughts on the NFL Schedule and the NBA Playoffs

2009-04-15T18:22:00.000-04:00

So the NFL released the regular season schedule yesterday, and its pretty much 1 o'clock games, which is about what I expected. We've got two 4 o'clock games against some west coast teams, but thats about it. Looks like I'll be bonding with my fellow Browns Backers at the bar every Sunday again this year. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

What did surprise me is that they gave us a Monday night game. At home. I was pretty sure that they were going to keep the Browns as far away from national television as humanly possible. (And probably ship us out for the crappy international game just as an extra kick in the side... if they're even still doing that this year) It's against the Ravens and we should be well rested coming off our bye week. That could actually be a good game, so nice work NFL. As far as I'm concerned this is our only nationally televised game, as I don't count the Thursday night NFL Network games as Nationally televised. If I can't watch it from my couch, it does not count.

In other blatantly obvious NFL news, the draft is next week, and if things go my way, I'll be there in person. So that should make for a fun little post if that pans out.

Moving on to the Cavs. Tonight is the last regular season game. Lebron probably won't even play. If you're reading this, I'm assuming you already know all of this, and won't dwell too much on it and the fact that we have won 66 games, only lost 1 game at home, and broken pretty much ever franchise record ever. I also won't dwell on the fact that whenever I see this team play together, I get jealous because of how much fun they seem to be having. Or the fact Lebron chances are the best they've ever been at winning MVP. Actually, I take that back. I will dwell on all of this. Because if you are anything like me, hearing these things does not get old. Hearing these things, reading these things, hell, typing these things bring a smile to my face. I look forward to the playoffs.

So thats that for now. This post was neither informative or entertaining, but whatever, it killed about 15 minutes of my time, so there you go.

1995

2009-04-08T11:12:00.000-04:00

The crack of the bat. The sound of a ball snapping into a leather glove. The smell of beer and hot dogs. The sound of the announcers voice.

Spring.

Baseball season is upon us. And it always makes me slightly nostalgic. As the 2009 season is heating up, everyone is talking about who's going to be hot this year. But to me, when I think of baseball, specifically the Indians, I think of 1995. This was the height of my baseball fandom, and arguable, a great year for it.

I can still spout off our starting line up from that year. From memory. I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but without thinking I know that Kenny Lofton was our lead off guy. (And if he got on base, watch out! He might steal!) Following behind him was Omar Viiiiizzzquel, whose hands were probably still stinging from bare handing the ball the previous inning. Carlos Biiiiii-aaaiiirrrrrrrr-gggaa (Baerga) next, followed by Alebert Belle at cleanup. (Just don't call him Joey!). After him was Eddie Murray in his quest for 3,000 hits. And next up to the plate, adjusting his cup, sporting his high socks, was Jim Thome, back when he was still at 3rd base. And today's sports fans would not even recognize the young Manny Ramirez, although he was already establishing himself as a hitter. And Paul Sorrento and Tony Pena/Sandy Almor rounded out the order. And we can't forget our pitchers, Orel Hershiser, Charlie Nagy, Jose Mesa, Jim Poole and Eric Plunk*!

That year meant so many great things for the Tribe. We went from a team that was so bad, they made movies about it to a dominating force to be reckoned with. They were an exciting team to watch. If I close my eyes, I can still see scenes being played out from that year, like I'm watching my cherished "Wahoo! What a Finish" VHS in my mind. Omar flipping double plays. Jose Mesa striking out anyone he faced. Manny and Albert belting out homeruns. Games at the Jake. Talk of baseball everywhere. I can still feel the excitement of the playoffs and the heartbreak of the World Series. There is a similar buzz about the Cavs right now, and hopefully their tale will have a different ending. But I digress. Baseball has changed since then. Whether because I've gotten older (and wiser?), or because it was before all the steriod era drama came to life. I was able to enjoy the sport and the game for what it was. I didn't see overpaid media images. I didn't see controversial figures. I saw people playing a game that I loved, and I saw them playing it well. In my mind, those guys were (and still are) heros.

So here's to 1995. And hopefully we can channel some of that magic in 2009. GO TRIBE!

*side note (and by side note, I mean pointless story) : I was in grade school during this time. I remember having an assembly when the Indians made the playoffs. We were all allowed to dress in Indians t-shirts, which was a big deal because I went to Catholic school. I think Slider, Charlie Nagy, and some random bat boy came. At this assembly, we sang a song about to the tune of 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game', except it was "Root, Root Root for the Innnddiiiannns" and there was a line in it that ended "Jim Pooooollleee and Eric PLUNK!", which sadly is one of the only lines of that song I can remember, and to this day that is why I will never forget those two pitchers!

Cavs

2009-04-03T12:58:00.000-04:00

My roommate (also from Cleveland) and I are having a Cavs party tonight, so I thought I'd take this chance to reflect a bit on the team as we approach the home stretch of the regular season and the start of the playoffs.

First off, my thoughts on last night's game. Like Ron Burgandy after Baxter ate an entire wheel of cheese and then pooped in the fridge, I'm not even mad. Yea. We played badly last night. We were lobbing up shots that weren't falling. Defense looked like crap. We were pretty much letting the Wizards run all over us. No one was really even trying. I would say that we sent body doubles, but I think that you'd be pretty hard-pressed to find look alikes for most of the guys on our team. But we have played so amazing all season, that I can overlook this. Once.

I hope that we play tonight like the Cavs team I have come to expect this season. Not just because back to back losses might put a damper on the party I'm throwing (nothing a vodka soda or a couple of beers won't fix), but because even though we're on top, we need to finish this season strong. I don't want to see us go into the playoffs cold. We can't get lazy and lose that spark we've had all season.

At the start of the 4th last night, I saw a little bit of it, we closed the gap and came within one point, but we failed that final surge that we've seen so often this season. Tonight matters for Orlando. They're fighting for seeding. Tonight matters for us. We're fighting for the home court advantage. The game should and will be a challenge. It's our chance to put ourselves in a play-off like setting on the road and step up. We need to stop relying on the 4th quarter magic, and start off strong and keep it going ALL FOUR QUARTERS.

So I hope our boys enjoyed their little rest last night. Bring on the rest of the season, and bring on the playoffs!

Three Ring Circus

2009-03-31T16:15:00.001-04:00

I started this post about a week ago, but work has me bent over like a... well.... we won't go there... so most of this is dated by now, but in attempt to keep posting semi-regularly, have at it anyway.

Barnum and Bailey's might be in town (in NYC)... but in Cleveland has their own circus in town. The folks over in Berea have been putting on quite the show this off season.

The Cavs should be my hot topic right now, but I'd like to spout off about the absolute mess that is the Cleveland Browns organization. You'd think that since it's the off season that the opportunities for them to piss me off would be few and far between. But oh no, unfortunately, this is one of those rare cases where they persist against all odds.

To your left, we have the Donte' (side note... I think from now on, I'm going to be Girl' Out of Cleveland) Stallworth-less. I mean I guess at least he's found a way to make headlines. Everything surrounding this situation is ridiculous. I mean obviously, this would happen the FREAKING MORNING AFTER WE GAVE HIM MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. But you know, while he didn't have time to, say use his breaks and stop the car, at least he had the common courtsey to flash his lights at the guy. Best "in poor taste" comment I've heard about this one: "Stallworth is innocent, when is the last time a Browns receiver ran over anyone?" Bravo Donte'. Keep up the good work. I eagerly await the outcome of this one...

Next up, to your right, we have the exodus of players. And you know what? I could care less! At this point, I have no attachment left to any player on this team. Actually, I take that back. If we get rid of Phil Dawson (or possibly Josh Cribbs), I quit. I don't know what I quit, but I quit. But seriously, I have no emotional reaction whatsoever to anyone else we rid of. Many fans made a big stink when we got rid of Winslow, but really, what did we lose? A under performing hot head? You know what Tampa? You can have him! Same goes for the Giants and Edwards. Take him. Please! Send us some draft picks. Or some hot dogs. Anything really. My only attachment to him is the fact I own his jersey. And I'm more likely to wear it in that semi-ironic, "you don't play for us anymore so its funny" type of way than a "I'm an actual fan of you" type of way.

Also in this ring, we have the Shaun Rogers drama turned non-drama. I'm just really glad that the Browns decided, "Hey! Its OK to be fat!" I mean heaven forbid that a professional athlete be required to be in shape or anything.

ANNND.... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALLLLLLL AGES.... I'm proud to present, in the center ring, the future of your Cleveland Browns Organization. The "Mangini/Kokoinis Show!" For our first act, we're going to bring you a brilliant new concept that folks in Cleveland have never seen before. A QUARTERBACK COMPETITION!!
**from the crowd** "booo" "hisss" Showers of beer bottles rain down.
Yea. That will end well. Serioulsy, you need to establish yourself as a coach and decision maker. Pick a side. I know that you want to see what you're working with, blah, blah, blah, but right now, I just see Romeo Crennel in a Mangini mask in this situation.

Clearly deriving joy from this, because, Hey! in Cleveland, quarterback controversy is fun, Mangini made another announcement this week. I about shat my pants when I read the headline on this article: "New name in Cleveland Browns QB mix: Brett Favre".

.....I'll let that sink in.....

That set me off into a tizzy, until I actually read more than a sentence into it:
Relax. Not as a player, but as a training camp "visitor." Seriously though? Why? That's all I really want to know. What is the point of this?? Can we please just exile Brett Favre to some remote island so I don't have to hear about him anymore?!?
With all this drama going on, and more inevitably to come, I'm glad that the Cavs will be playing through June and that baseball season is starting up, so I can push this team to the back of my mind for as long as possible.

In other news no one cares about- preseason opponents were announced today. We will have the pleasure of playing games no one cares about against the Lions, Titans, Packers, and Bears. Wooo. (please note my extreme sarcasm)

Promos Gone Wild

2009-03-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

With attendance at sporting events dropping faster than a pass thrown to Braylon Edwards, many teams are turning to running various promotions as an innocent way of getting more fans to attend a game against a crappy opponent, or to put seats in the stands for a team that isn't playing so well. Like the New Jersey Nets "Resume Night". Unemployed? Still want to watch us lose?! Give us your resume, we'll give you a ticket! Or the various teams that have offered their obese fans an economical way to gorge on hot dogs AND cheer on their favorite teams with all you can eat seat nights.

Sometimes though, said promotions go horribly, horribly wrong.

Honestly, the brains behind some of these schemes were a few beers short of a six pack. A quick look at some of the more infamous promotions gone awry will show that they clearly had "bad idea" written all over them from the start. I mean, did anyone really expect events involving explosives or 10 cent beer to end well?

September 26, 1942.

Scrap Metal Night.

Yes, you read that right. Hello sports fans. Hate when things don't go the right way for your team? US TOO! That’s why tonight, we're having 'Bring Your Own Weapon' Night. Oh wait, we can't run that promotion? Ok, hmm, isn't there a war or something going on? Yea, yea, that’s a good idea. Let's let kids in free if they bring us shiny sharp pieces of metal. Cue 8th inning. Picture riotous youth storming the field and the players running for cover and squealing like little girls. Brilliant!

July 12, 1979

Disco Demolition Night.

I can just see someone sitting around making a list. Likes: Baseball, Explosives. Dislikes: Disco. Hmm, how can I combine all of these things into one stellar evening? How about let fans into the stadium for 98 cents and a disco record, all of which we will BLOW UP WITH A BOMB in between a double header. Apparently close to 90,000 people thought that this was indeed an awesome idea and showed up to a stadium with a capacity of roughly 50,000 and quickly began downing copious amounts of beer and per some reports "illegal drugs". "Woah… man… these records look like Frisbees”. I'm sure it's not easy to keep your team alive when you're being pelted in the head by "Stayin' alive" Shockingly, setting a bomb off in a stadium full of drunk, high, anti-disco fans somehow back fired. They some how managed to blow a huge hole in the outfield, inciting a riot, complete with field storming and fire-starting. (If you can't picture this in your mind, check out some great old-school pictures)

August 10, 1995

Dodgers' fans have balls!

I'm sure you've all been at a game where someone on the opposing team hits a home run and the entire stadium starts chanting "throw it back, throw it back". Now imagine all of these people suddenly realize they have all been armed with promotional baseballs upon entering the stadium. If you were an umpire in this game, would you start making questionable calls against the home team and ejecting players from the game? Or if you did, would you be surprised when the crowd started to make it rain? (And not in a way that someone who is "dancing her way through school" profits from). Yea didn't think so.

And last but not least, the biggest disaster of them all.

June 4, 1974

10 Cent Beer Night.

I really can't even do this night justice. There was an article about it on ESPN'S Page 2 this summer. Upon reading it I didn't know if I should be embarrassed or proud that this happened in Cleveland. Or that if it made me a horrible person that the article had me in tears I was laughing so hard at the absurdity of it. It was the 70s. People were drunk. And high. And for some reason came to the game armed with firecrackers. At one point, they were allowing fans to line up and get beer directly from the beer trucks. The drunken debauchery started innocently enough with a handful of streakers. But as the game progressed, and the fans got drunker, things got uglier. The end result was both dugouts emptying out and a full out riot. A quote from one of the crew chiefs (after a freaking hunting knife landed behind him) kind of sums up the whole thing: "F------ animals! You just can't pull back a pack of animals. When uncontrolled beasts are out there, you gotta do something. I saw two guys with knives, and I got hit with a chair."

Hopefully we can learn from these past mistakes and teams think twice before scheduling things like hypodermic needle night or "Hedge Fund Appreciation Night" on the same night as the mini bat give-a-way. Then again, it would make for a nice follow up post.

GUESS WHAT?!? You can also read this post on a really awesome blog called Straight Up Sports. Check it out HERE.

MARCH MADNE$$: How (not) to pick your bracket

2009-03-16T11:53:00.000-04:00

I keep telling myself I'm going to start writing on here again. I've got about 3 other posts that I've started writing, but haven't had the attention span to finish yet. Those are all going on the back burner, because my second favorite season (after football season) is upon us.... MARCH MADNE$!!!!

For 11 months out of the year, I do not give a damn about college basketball. If a game is on and I'm at a sports bar, I'll look to see what teams are playing, but beyond that, I just don't care. Even when I was in college (Ohio University) and we had a good team one year, I only got into it when I was at games, or when we were making our play at the big dance my junior year.

I can't really explain it, but something about March Madness just draws me in. I love getting caught up in it. I love spending a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, drinking a few beers, getting way too into games I'd otherwise care nothing about. I love throwing down $20 here and $10 there for various pools. And most of all... I love filling out brackets. As someone who admittedly knows very little about (read: NOTHING) college basketball... I'm going to break down the bracket anyway....

Here's a look at my thought process as I fill out a bracket. (disclaimer: Do NOT take my advice on this) I also tend to fill out multiple brackets in different (yet similarly random) manners in order to "hedge my bets" if you will. Click the picture to make it bigger.

I'm BAAACCCKKK!

2009-02-17T01:06:00.000-05:00

So I haven't posted in quite some time. Two months to be exact. But I realized I kind of miss writing these things, regardless of whether or not anyone actually reads them.

A lot has happened in the world of (Cleveland) sports. For awhile, I was too overcome with a Romeo hangover and a severe case of Browns sickness (not to be confused with Cavs fever, a completely welcome ailment) to care enough to post. Actually the entire sport of football started to make me sick to my stomach. As far as I'm concerned, the Superbowl and the events leading up to it didn't even really happen.

So I'm going to bring myself to date with a run down of significant (as decided by me) events that have happened since I last posted, with my 1-2 word reaction (because for some of these, more than one word was required to really express my thoughts, but 3 is way too much effort).

Romeo goes bye bye: YAY!

Savage goes too: F$#* you!

Lebron does something awesome: WOO!

Playoffs: BLAH

Mangini: Not Romeo...

Superbowl: Meh!

Lebron does more awesome things: YIPEE!

Anything dealing with A-Rod: Surprised?

George Kokinis: Not Savage...

Other Cavs do something awesome too: Chalupas!

Phelps and the reefer: Dude!

Knicks give up 113 pts, to 2 players, in 2 games- HA-HA!

Probowl: That happened?

Lakers @ the Q: :(

All-star game: Shaq = freak!

So yea, that's about it, and kind of brings us up to date. Anything I left off probably wasn't taht important anyway. Cavs don't play on national TV again until Sunday. But seeing as I live in NYC, maybe I'll throw up the obligatory "Lebron/NY" post between now and then since I wasn't back up and posting when the boys in blue (or yellow or wine or whatever the hell color they're wearing these days) came to town.

Things I'd rather think about

2008-12-16T08:16:00.000-05:00

I really don't even want to talk about it. At all. You know what I mean, please don't make me say it. Instead, here is a list of things I'd rather discuss*:

- The economy
- Running
- Ponies
- What you would do for a Klondike bar
- Jock itch
- Shiny things
- The Louisiana purchase
- Oprah's book club
- Politics
- Advanced physics
- 2010
- Jack Bauer's torture tactics
- The effects of giving a hamster popcorn (on a piano)
- Anything while speaking on a landline
- "Air quotes"
- How the industrial revolution changed the face of the modern novel forever, citing specific examples
- The existence of Wyoming
- Japanese anime
- Toenail clippings
- Who invented cows
- Immigration
- The adverse effects of GLBC Christmas Ale on society

*please note, this list is not all inclusive, subject to change at anytime.

Cavs vs. 76ers

2008-12-10T20:29:00.000-05:00

So it was suggested that I live blog this game... but things didn't really start off as planned. As I type this, there is about a minute left in the first quarter.

First, my ESPN-HD kept "skipping". It does this from time to time. I'm convinced Time Warner hates me, b/c ESPN is the only HD channel that does this. I have an HD-TV for a reason. To watch sports. I refuse to watch them in what I like to call "Regular D". So my first task was to try and remedy that. This was done by yelling at the TV and cursing TW out loud to no one in particular. In the process, I turned my internet off without realizing it. But now we're up and running. Here's my ADD-style live blog:

- What's the deal with the yellow jerseys? Ew! Not a fan.

- We've been rolling over teams left and right, and I've been giddy with excitement to watch this live. This game is close. What gives?

- I'm sad Booby is out. Not only are his 3 point skills being missed, but he's adorable. I want to be his friend so I can pinch his cheeks. And I have no shame in this.

- I love how effortless our passing looks. And I love the team work on the court.

- Is it me, or does this team just look HAPPY?! (and no sooner had I finished typing that did the announcers start talking about the team chemistry... I beat them to it though! You'll just have to take my word for that one)

- Z just made a hook shot from under the basket! Awesome.

- It's encouraging to see we can score about a gagillion (ok, maybe a bit of an exaggeration) unanswered points. With LeBron resting on the bench.

- I normally don't find regular season basketball fun to watch on tv. I am having fun right now. Throwing the ball halfway down the court to Bron Bron for the score? That's just fun!

- Oh sh*t. (They just caught up! Oh sh*t is about the best I can come up with)

***HALFTIME***

- I'm a little upset we're not up by 57 points right now. I saw we take out the guy whose name I probably can't pronounce. He's hurting us.

- Start of the 2nd half... lets step it up boys!! I want ACTION!

- The fact that we're back up by double digits makes me somewhat happy. And now that we're up by 17, I'm even happier.... this is what I wanted to watch

- I just did a fist pump as Varejao tipped in LBJ's shot. I don't get "throw things and yell" excited and/or upset with basketball like I do with football... but I have found myself involuntarily doing the fist pump and mouthing "yes" several times during this game.

- Ok seriously? Goal tending? Again? I wasn't aware this was so common. The one in the first half was def not goal tending, the ball was still on the way up, I don't know if this one was or not, but I'm surprised this is being called.

***End of 3Q ***

- Aww! I didn't realize Donyell Marshall played for the '6ers... I miss him simply b/c I enjoyed the "Don-Yell" zone.

- ARRGHHH.... now Z is hurt??!! I was JUST reading an article earlier about how he hasn't been injured much lately... I feel like I might have jinxed him.

- Grrr!!! Our lead is slipping. I guess a win is a win as long as we hold on.

- Ok, I clearly can't do multiple things at once. I'm trying to juggle actually paying attention to the game, writing this, and talking to friends. This has suffered as game/friends have taken priority. And that's a lot of frustration in those last couple items for a game we're winning....

- Hello? Lebron? Are you still there??

- Ok, Williams seems to be picking up some slack, I'll take it.

- ANNND.... CAVS WIN! WOOOOOOOOOO

Ok. So this wasn't quite the game I was expecting. I was expecting to be wowed. Razzle-dazzled. (Visions of NBA Jam for Super Nintendo pop into my head whenever I hear that phrase). I wanted to see us blow away another opponent. Cement the fact that we are an unstoppable force. I'm not sure if they exactly accomplished that tonight, but it was still a good game. I'm not disappointed that I watched it, and I came away with a happy feeling.

Lebron aside, we are a solid team. Even without Lebron, this team would be a contender. With Lebron? Well lets just say we are a team to be feared! We've got a lot of depth. Injures may slow us down a bit, but they are not going to stop us. Still I hope Z and Gibson are back soon.

This is the foundation that championships are built upon. This is a Cleveland team that knows how to get the job done, and get it done well. Our other teams should take note.

A Bad Day for Football

2008-12-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

So for all intents and purposes, Romeo's career and this season has been dead for awhile. Sunday was the final nail in the coffin as far as I'm concerned though. I have flat out just stopped caring, and this isn't even fun anymore. And there's no way in hell that we don't have a new head coach next year.

We've gone beyond bad, we're now predictably bad. And I've seen it coming for awhile. I went back and read some of my old posts, which got me thinking about all the past games this season, and we keep repeating the same mistakes. Over and over. Mistakes are ok if you learn from them. Romeo and the Browns clearly have not. I'm thinking of applying for the head coaching job myself. If Mike Singletary can motivate the Niners by mooning them, imagine what me flashing could do for the Browns...

Watching the game on Sunday, I didn't even get mad or upset when we did something horrible. I just kind of shook my head, because I expected it. Anytime we got even got over the 50 yard line, I wasn't even thinking 'Maybe we'll score a touchdown', I merely thought 'Hopefully we can get close enough for Dawson to kick'. I don't even expect offensive touchdowns from us anymore. As far as I'm concerned, the job description of any football team's offense is to score touchdowns. We've gotten to the point that I'm not even expecting this team to do their job, the job that we are paying them millions to do.

I couldn't even get mad when Dawson missed a field goal. I think he's just sick of carrying this team. And I don't blame him. At one point during the 3rd quarter, I received a text message "We're only down by 4 FGs". Yep. Not 2 touchdowns, because I'm not entirely sure we know what those are.

On the rare occasion that the Browns did do something well (and I mean relatively speaking, I consider them doing routine things like completing simple passes to be "playing well" at this point), I couldn't even get excited. We couldn't string enough decent plays together to make anything happen, so why get excited?

Beyond the Browns, the rest of the NFL also disappointed me. If the Browns can't satisfy me, I count on other teams to put a smile on my face. I've become a pseudo Giants fan (not because they won the Superbowl last year, but because I occasionally will watch them play with various groups of friends who are lifelong Giants fans). They let me down as well. And I was really looking forward to them going undefeated the rest of the year so Browns fans could sport those really cool 18-1 shirts!

To top it off... the Steelers won (as the Cowboys choked, Browns style, giving up somthing like 17 unanswered points in the 4th quarter). Yuck. At least the Lions lost. Some things will never change. I found myself a bit upset when I saw they were up at half time. At least they came through with a loss for me. So we've got that going for us....

At this point, all I can say is: Bring on the Cavs!

We now return to our irregularly scheduled programing

2008-12-04T23:09:00.001-05:00

So life's been a little hectic the past two weeks or so for me, so I've been on a bit of a hiatus so to speak. I've been busy doing things like running a half marathon, turning 25 (yet pretending I was turning 21), and spending some quality time with the family for the Thanksgiving holiday. That and my mom has always told me if you don't have anything nice to say... don't say anything at all....

Being the die hard Cleveland fan that I am, I usually plan my trips home with the intention of working in a trip downtown to see one of my beloved teams play. Most trips home usually include either a Cavs, Browns, or Tribe game. Back in September when I booked my flight home for Thanksgiving, I made my return flight for 6am Monday morning with the intentions of going to the Browns/Colts game, but held off on getting tickets for the game (knowing I could probably play the birthday card with my brother...).

After watching Sunday's game, warm, dry and slightly hung over at Buffalo Wild Wings (aka "Bdubs"), I can safely say I'm glad I held off on those tickets. As the season has progressed, I have gone back and forth in my mind whether I wanted to attend this game.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fair weather fan. No matter how badly we play, how much the team disgusts me, or how big of a joke we become, I stand by my team. But I must say, I have never been happier NOT to be at a game. Regardless of the outcome, it was a BORING game to watch. Several times I forgot there was even a game going on. And I wasn't even drinking!

This season has gone beyond out of control. Our administration is a joke. Half our team is injured, the other half just doesn't seem to care. There is a disconnect between coaches and players. There is a disconnect amongst players themselves. And the biggest disconnect now seems to be between fans and the team as a whole. This season has seen a steady decline. From exciting and promising, to still a glimmer of hope, from just out of reach, to absolute hopelessness.

I mean we've now got to rely on KEN DORSEY and some random guy with a name more Polish than mine (and mine is pretty Polish....). The thing that us fans are most looking forward to is the day its announced that Romeo is gone.

Like today for example, while I was hard at work (aka wasting time on facebook) I noticed a friend of mine's status said something along the lines of "expecting a big announcement today". Now this particular friend is quickly making a name for himself in Cleveland sports, does locker room interviews, and basically is the kind of guy who would have inside knowledge of anything big. I was on the edge of my seat all day waiting for the 'No More Romeo' announcement that never came. And I'm sad because of it. It's really doesn't say much for the state of your team when the thing you are most looking forward to is the firing of your coach.

I was excited about watching how the rest of the season played out just to see how Quinn was going to develop, now we don't even have that. I'll watch the rest of the games, but pretty much because I like an excuse to be social (aka drink beer) on a Sunday.

And I will keep blogging because I need a way to entertain myself. And plus, the Cavs are awesome. (More on that soon). And at the end of the day, at least our players aren't shooting themselves in the leg.... So we've got that going for us.

You've been KOSAR'D!!!!!!

2008-11-26T22:22:00.006-05:00

It's like being Rick Roll'd... only better! It's going to catch on... I swear.

I actually came up with this idea upon reading a really great article about Bernie. I'm not so tech savvy beyond the blogging basics and my awesome photoshopping, so I'm just hiding this in the archives.

Do your part to help this catch on! Tell your friends to check out the really awesome (whatever will make them click on it) you found http://tinyurl.com/m3b7yd, and they'll have "Bernie Bernie.... oooooohhhh babbby... SUPER BOWL!" stuck in their heads for the next week.

You're Welcome.

It's Friday and I don't want to work...

2008-11-21T11:08:00.000-05:00

I've got typical Friday fever... aka extreme lack of motivation to do anything work related. Lucky for me, I can entertain myself with this here blog of mine.

So much has happened in Cleveland sports this week that my mind is in overload! There is really no way I could narrow my thoughts down to one topic to ramble about... so I'll throw them all out there.

In semi-chronological order, here's what I've been thinking this week.

Monday Night Game.
Well we won. I'll take it. But it sure as hell wasn't pretty. Other than Phil Dawson. That man in incredible. Wind at his back or not, a 56 yard field goal is an amazing feat (and is amazing feet too!). That being said, I can pretty much start writing about games before they even happen. Here's my recap for this coming Sunday's game against the Texans:

Texans kick off to Browns. Cribbs returns to about the 50 for great field position. The offense slowly moves the ball forward, actually converting a few times. It looks like we're going to go up 7-0 to start the game. Pass to Edwards in the end zone... DROPPED. Cue Dawson. FIELD GOAL. Repeat several times. By the end of the 1st half, the defense SOMEHOW manages to hold Houston, and Dawson proceeds to kick 8 more field goals. Three of them from behind the 50 yard line. The Browns are up 27-0. Cue the second half, where our guards proceed to hold hands with Houston's running backs and skip with them down the field, and the rest of the defenses stands and observes as their QB lobs pass after pass over our heads to the waiting receivers. Our offense pretty much shuts down. This continues for much of the second half. As the clock winds down to the two minute warning... the game is now 28-27, Texans. Panic mode begins...

Sadly, that is probably going to be a pretty accurate description of how things will go.

Hopefully that prediction doesn't spur an:

Angry email from Phil Savage.
This whole situation is one of those you shake your head and kind of laugh because really, you don't know what else to do. (Here's the actual emails that were exchanged back and forth) Only in Cleveland does a GM respond to fan criticism with an Go root for Buffalo- f#$!@ you! This is now my stock response for any disagreement I have with people. What's that, you don't like my blog? Go root for buffalo- f#@! you! My boss tells me he needs a report on his desk by 5 o'clock tonight? Go root for buffalo- f#&! you. You want me to pay my bills? Go root for buffalo- f$#! you.

But you know what...

At least the Cavs are good.
This just in. The Cavs are good this year. Really good. Really ridiculously good. I realize that we lost to Detroit on Wednesday. But that is irrelevant. That was coming off an 8 game winning streak, and back to back away games. Now I admittedly don't follow the Cavs as closely as I do the Browns. I'd seen that we'd been winning games and heard that we're a stronger team than last year. But I had to see it for myself to believe it.

And that's just what happened.

Tuesday night I had the pleasure of seeing LeBron light up the Izod Center. Even when we were trailing through the first half (never by more than a few baskets), I thought we looked like the superior team. We were grabbing rebounds like they were going out of style, and even though we were down, I could tell that we were in control of the game. Mind you this might have been a somewhat biased opinion, but not entirely inaccurate. But we EXPLODED in the second half. Now Bron Bron always impresses, and had a few of his signature razzle dazzle plays, but what really surprised me is how great his supporting crew looked. It seemed like every time I turned around West was making another 3 pointer. We looked tough on D. We had a quickness on the court. Mo Williams? Definitely added a presence to the team. And I love Gibson. I'm excited for this team. I still can't get too excited until post season starts, but I will definitely make an effort to catch a few more of the nationally televised games this year.

Insert witty and appropriate transition here...

Broken finger.
To top off all the other mess going on with the Browns right now, Quinn has a broken finger. Luckily its just the tip (sooo many jokes right there that I'm not even going to touch...). He's still supposed to play, and hopefully it won't really effect him. But still, knowing our luck, he'll end up with staph, DA will be back in, and we're right back to where we started. And if somehow DA manages to scrape together a decent quarter or two, then what? There are some scary possibilities out there. This article is just terrifying. We're bad, but we're just mediocre enough that we might not be able to do anything to fix it. I agree with the author when he says "Get me a Christmas Ale. Stat." And if you deny me my Christmas Ale, then you know what, "Go root for buffalo- f#!@ you."

Maybe the magic of Christmas Ale will be enough to lure:

Bill Cowher to Cleveland.
The rumors of Cowher as the new head coach in Cleveland have been flying for sometime. But they've been just that. Rumors. Until now. Its been confirmed, kind of (thanks to my friend Ryan for this link, since he's already yelled at me for not crediting it to him once) that there are at least talks between the Browns the the former Steelers coach. Now I used to loathe this guy. I have said he looks like he eats small children for breakfast. (You can't deny this...) Well I'm sure there's plenty of small children in Cleveland.... Seriously. I just hated him because he led the enemy to victory. I am more than willing to jump on the Cowher band wagon if he comes to Cleveland. But I can't get excited yet. Because for now we kind of have to weather out the storm that is brewing and see what happens....

I think that covers all the big things that have been running through my mind all week. So we'll wrap this up. And I really should do some work. Actually screw that... It's Friday... Go root for buffalo- f#!@ you. (and I've officially over used that...)

Low Expectations: MNF #2

2008-11-17T16:16:00.000-05:00

I've said it more than once before, and I'll say it again. THE BROWNS ARE NOT A SECOND HALF TEAM. We are far from the days of the Kardiac Kids, but the 4th quarter as of late has been infuriating. And don't even get me started with the whole "guys quitting" drama…

I have also said that an effective Browns strategy is to take a large lead in the first half and pray to the gods above that we can hold onto it in the 2nd for the win. Apparently this doesn't work so well, considering we've given up close to 50 second half points in just two games.

We've come to show that even a double digit lead though isn't "Browns proof". So how big of a lead are we going to try and blow this week? 20? 30? 47? (clearly I'm a little bitter) I've got higher expectations for the US auto industry than I do this game. This is a game we should win, but games we should win and games we do win have become two entirely different things. As always, I hope with all my might that I eat these words. With Shaun Rogers potentially out though, I have little to no faith in our defense. And our offense hasn't given me much to get excited about either. Win or lose, I can't see tonight being overly fun to watch. Other than the fact its an excuse to drink on a Monday.

Maybe we'll have some more of that Monday Night Magic that seems to work so well against NY teams… but I'm not holding my breath. I'll be watching tonight more so in hopes of catching a glimpse of BQ sans shirt. And that's the sad truth.

My Heart Hurts

2008-11-13T10:41:00.000-05:00

Sigh. The Browns have officially broken my heart. Again. This team is like that bad relationship. You know its no good for you, but its all you know, and you just can't seem to walk away. You accept the heartache and pain in hopes that things will get better.

In an attempt to save the relationship, the Browns decided to spice things up last week. Try something new. Cue Brady Quinn. Many fans were hoping the hot Quinn and his rippling biceps would swoop in and the team and its fans could have the second honeymoon we've all been waiting for.

Its not to say the "romantic" gesture wasn't appreciated. It's just going to take much more to save this relationship.

What's got to go is the means-well but hasn't a clue mother-in-law. Aka Romeo Crennel. I doubt very many football fans can appreciate/understand (or at least would admit to it) the comparison of Romeo to Bunny McDougal, Charlotte's mother-in-law on Sex and the City. (...and I'm pretty sure I just lost every male reader with that reference...) but I'll continue.

Charlotte (Quinn) thought she was getting her fairy tale in her marriage to Trey (the Browns) but failed to win the approvoal of Bunny (Crennel). Bunny wanted what was best for Trey, and Trey loved his mother, but her actions always seemed to sabatoge the relationship. (Trey's performance issues didn't really help the relationship either. He could never seem to get the job done...)

Slowly, Trey started to see the truth. Bunny was particularly upset when Trey started to resist and defy her. She knew she had lost control.

Rather than bow out gracefully and accept defeat, Bunny stayed stubbornly set in her ways. Even when Trey and Charlotte knew their marriage (the season) was over, rather than take the high road, Bunny stood her ground, fighting to keep control of Trey's apartment. In the end, Charlotte won and got to keep the apartment.

So maybe there's hope. Crennel can fight all he wants, but in the end, he's going to end up out on the streets and Quinn will be left to stick around and redecorate the apartment. But we all know that this one's become quite the fixer-upper.

The Mighty Quinn

2008-11-06T12:31:00.000-05:00

Mighty Quinn? We'll see.

So I've kind of been avoiding posting all week. I know that you've all been anxiously checking for my witty insight on BQ getting the start all week, refreshing your browser every hour in anticipation. To be honest, I've been thinking about how to approach this topic all week, but my thoughts lack focus. Not that that's ever stopped me before....

I've had more conversations than I can count this week about Quinn. With Browns fans, non-Browns fans, Quinn supporters, and Quinn haters. Everyone has their own opinion on what this means. For DA, Romeo, Savage, the fans, and the team as a whole. I've debated all sides of this issue.

Many people doubt the fact that this decision was Romeo's. Judging by his track record this year, I tend to agree with that. I'm going to go ahead and give myself credit for this one. I'm pretty sure someone in Berea read my "Brady Bunch song", couldn't get the catchy little tune out of their head, and said, 'Sure! Why not?'

Personally, I do not expect Brady to swoop in and save the team (this year). What I do know is this: We've played inconsistently all year, and SOMETHING needed to change. Is the man behind the center that something? I'm not sure. But at this point, it can't hurt to try.

We've got plenty of other problems looming and a fix in one area does not necessarily equal a fix across the board. Even if Quinn turns out to be the next Otto Graham, we're still got some work to do to prove to the rest of the NFL and world at large that we're the team that everyone thought we might have been this year. A team that loyal fans still see deep down inside somewhere.

We've been paying BQ to sit on the bench for two years. We gave up a lot for him. We might as well see what he can do. Give him a chance in real game situations with our starters. Considering that from week to week, we have no idea which version of DA is going to show up, this is no more or less of a risk. We can't really do much WORSE.

Case in point: I'm not at either end of the spectrum on this one. I don't think Quinn means doomsday for Cleveland, and I don't think that he is our knight in shining armor. All I ask is that he goes out there, plays his heart out, and withstands this enormous pressure that was placed upon him 3 days ago.

How I've made it through this entire post without a single inappropriate joke is really amazing. But that's all I've got.

As for tonight, all I can say is... HERE WE GO BROWNIES.... and hope for the best.

The Brady Bunch

2008-11-02T19:42:00.001-05:00

I (thankfully) did not watch today's game. I had a number of friends running the New York Marathon today, and I went out to show my support for them. I did get essentially play by play text messages from a combination of my brother (who was at the game) and one of my friends. So I still lived and felt the heart ache, disappointment, and anger of today.

That being said, Here's to hoping it ushers in a new era:

Here's the story of a guy named Derek
That was heading up one struggling football team
All of them had lots of injuries, like their teammate,
The soldier one had staph.

Here's the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was spending way too much time on the bench,
He was a talented young QB, up and coming,
Yet he did not get play.

Till the one day when D - A again blew it
And I hope this is much more than a hunch,
That this young QB will somehow play now.
And the Browns will become the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.

That's the way the Browns become the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch.

Random Thoughts

2008-10-28T20:06:00.000-04:00

On the Browns and the Cavs... I can't promise any of this is coherent.

I don't get the Browns... I'm no longer going to even pretend to. I'm just going to hope "good team" shows up each week and not "bad team"

I care about the Cavs at about 3 points during the year: (the season is waaaaayyyy too long for me to follow at other points)

When they come to New York or New Jersey and/or I am going to the game
Once the playoff start
Tonight. So we can avenge the playoffs last year.

Z is one gangly white guy

Shaun Rogers. BEAST. He's up for defensive MVP this week and well deserved. I would not want to cross him. In a dark alley or otherwise. Especially if I was a small animal. He might eat me in one bite.

The Celtics may have knocked us out of the playoffs last year. But does their scoreboard shoot fire? I think not!

Seriously... what did the Browns do differently last week and against the Giants?

Eat their Wheaties? Down a can of spinach Popeye style before the game?

Drink some Redbull (Phil Dawson gives you wiiiiiinnnnnngggggggsssssss)

I guess we'll never know.

My take on the Injury Report

2008-10-22T12:55:00.001-04:00

So apparently I now take requests on blog topics. This one comes from Ryan H. of Columbus, OH. Today we will discuss my analysis of this week's Cleveland Browns Injury Report (real or imagined!)

This post is brought to you by the Cleveland Clinic's Staph Infection Special Victims Unit.

Kellen Winslow is listed as out for this week. He is suffering from a severe case of diarrhea of the mouth. Side effects include: Bruised ego, broken spirit, and weakened relationships with authority figures.

In other tight end news, backup Steve Heiden did not practice yesterday due to a strained pectoral muscle (sadly, I did not make this one up). Romeo did not seem concerned, and has voiced that the veteran will be available to play come Sunday (he had limited participation in today's practice). Heiden, in the meantime, is getting ready for the game by flexing his pecs in front of the mirror (and/or Brady Quinn) for several hours a day.

Braylon Edwards has been suffering with an on again off again case of dropsies all season. This devastating condition plagued him much of the early part of the season. According to WebMD, this can be contagious and effect other team members in varying ways. It seemed to have cleared up in the Monday night game against the Giants, but he appeared to have a relapse last week against the Redskins. Hopefully he has found the cure and will be 100% for this week.

The defense is again a bit thin this week with both Shaun Smith (hand) and Corey Williams (shoulder) missing practice yesterday. I have hope here though. Smith has been out the past two weeks, and Williams is questionable. Our defense has been looking better, but as is usually the case, you never know what team is going to show up with the Browns. But looking at the NFL standings/records, mediocrity and inconsistency seem to be the norm in this league right now....

Apparently Jamal Lewis did not participate today, but is listed as a non-injury. Ummm... ok? One can only hope that this is not another case of the Browns covering up something a la Winslow's "undisclosed illness".

So there you have it. The injury report as seen by me. There's a few others that are out, and who knows, some of these may not be. Let's hope that we've got enough gas in the tanks though to go out and put up another win on Sunday.

Theeeeyyyy're bbbaaaccckkkkk.....

2008-10-19T19:27:00.001-04:00

Yep, that was the Browns. Typical. I want the MNF team back. :( I'm tired of wondering which Browns team is going to show up from week to week.

After spending an awesome weekend in North Carolina for a reunion with my college roommates, I was pumped to hang out and watch the game with my good friend, former roommate, and fellow Browns fan (hi Ashley!). Being told that the Browns Backers bar in Columbia, SC where she lives is a bit creepy, we were pretty pumped that the game was being shown locally. Also, I'm obsessed this pop (yes pop, NOT soda) they have in the Carolinas called Cheerwine. So I was pretty excited to veg on Ash's couch with some Cheerwine and Sonic and watch the game. The Cheerwine was last night's only savior. Way to make me grumpy Browns! (Also made grumpier by the fact I'm now sitting at the airport... waiting for my flight back to NYC)

Seriously Browns? SERIOUSLY! I really think that if we would have decided to start playing during the first freaking quarter rather than halfway through the last quarter, we may have had a fighting chance and wouldn't have had to try and kick a freaking 54 yard field goal to tie the game with 30 seconds left. Only the Browns. And I'm so F*ing sick of kicking freaking field goals when we should have scored touchdowns. Although kudos on the TWO attempts at the TD on 4th and goal. The second one was a gift from the football gods, although it almost looked like they were showing a replay of the first try though when we were stopped short on pretty much third and inches both times. At least we were attempting to have some balls (there's a Winslow joke there somewhere...).

Also, I really want to know what Brady Quinn did to Romeo Crennel. Because I'm pretty sure that he has to have done something to him for Romeo to be so dead set on DA. Yes, I understood DA had an awesome game last week, but this week, not so much. And I'm just talking in general. I'm thinking BQ probably hit on his wife. Or maybe his son. I'm convinced that's got to be it.

My spirit is too broken and my frustration too high to really say much more. Last week's hope is all but gone. As an aside though, I must say that I will never be able to take Clinton Portis seriously, even though he ran all over us yesterday. And that is because of this ridiculous commercial, which somehow me and my roommate discovered a few years ago, and still makes me crack up at its awfulness every time I see it. (Also keep an eye out for Carmelo Anthony, random firefighters washing their truck, and the secretary jamming at her desk... too funny) So at least I have that and the cheerwine going for me.

Our Superbowl

2008-10-15T19:28:00.000-04:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(ok had to get that out of my system first)

When your season starts as slowly (ok, horribly) as the Browns did this year, its never a good thing. Especially when it was hyped up to be so much more. Coming into this week, this game was make or break. We could essentially count our season as over if we didn't start winning. And on national tv? Against the defending Superbowl champs? On a Monday night (for the first time in 5 years)? Well, its safe to say, that for Cleveland fans, Monday night was our Superbowl. So this is what it feels like to be on top, eh?

Seriously, that might be overreacting a bit, but not much. My loyal readers have been wondering when my post MNF blog was going to be written (and by my loyal readers, I mean by brother, best friend, and people who are bored at work) and what the reactions of New Yorkers have been (Seriously, we treated this game like the Superbowl, expecting to leave a wake of devastation. In the realm of Cleveland, we failed to see this as just another game) My brother even went so far as to suggest that I call this week's post "How does my ass taste". After my rant awhile back about rubbing it in and "kicking a dog when he's down", I chose to go a different route.

But I digress. My thoughts now that I've had a chance to digest the fact that Monday actually happened and it wasn't a dream. I was slow at work during the day and had spent some time reading about the game from varying sources. This of course left me nervous. I was quite honestly stressing out about a game in which I had no control. I found myself saying at the begining of the game, "I really don't expect to win this game, all I ask for is that we do not embarass ourselves on national tv". This was the very phrase I said 5 years ago en route to Cleveland Browns stadium for the last Monday night game we played. Though I would soon come to see the outcome would be very different. (Aside from the fact that 5 years ago included tailgating in a parking garage, randomly ending up seated next to my uncle at the game, and sneaking vodka into the stadium in an aquafina bottle, but that's another story)

Our offense started out in typical "2008 Browns" fashion. Falling just short of a TD and having to settle for 3. Then in a twist of fate, we intercepted and were given a second try, which again, in typical '08 Browns fashion fell short when PD missed a 50-some yard attempt. But as the first half went on, I began to notice something. The 2008 Browns began to play in a very untypical fashion. They were playing like a professional football team!! Braylon was catching passes! We were blocking! We were making key stops on defense! I don't know who this team was, but I hope to God they stick around!! I could get used to this team.

We scored late in the second quarter to take a 10 point lead, and in a cloud of euphuria I took a stupid bet with a Giants fan that I was watching the game with. He bet me all the money in his wallet (which amounted to $6) that they Giants would score again before the half was out. I knew this was probably going to happen. But I didn't care! I was excited! My adreneline was pumping! I had faith in my team! Plus, I admitadly know very little about gambling. I took the bet and lost my $6, but in hindsight, it was $6 well spent. (Maybe I should have gone double or nothing in the second half....)

I don't have much faith in the Browns as a second half team. I'm a Cleveland fan and eternally skeptical. I was nervous again as the 3rd quarter began. But as I had lost count on the pitchers of beer in front of us by this point, that nervousness was numbed a bit. And then things began to get exciting! We began to put points on the board! Several times! So THIS is what real football looks like!?!?!??! After a TD pass to Braylon, shortly followed by an interception which we returned for a TD, the game was essentially over.

The Browns bar I watch the games at is also a Giants bar. The crowd on Monday had been about half and half. It was about this time that half of the bar began to clear out. I'll give you one guess as to what half that was. I on the other hand was on cloud 9. While there were many upset Giants fans on Monday night (um our Giants fans friends stormed out without so much as a goodbye), life in New York did go on. I didn't get evil glares from co-workers, despite my Cleveland Browns wallpaper on my computer, and even got some 'good games' from a few people.

I don't know what this means for my boys going forward. Our play was far from flawless. We still made stupid mental mistakes, but lucky for us, the good outshined the bad. The Giants also made many mistakes, and eventually those cost them the game. If we can continue to play with the fire and intensity that we did in the national spotlight on Monday, we may still just have a shot.

Here's hoping....

Romeo's facebook page

2008-10-12T21:19:00.000-04:00

I sneaked a peek at Coach Crennel's facebook page tonight. Check it out for yourself. Click the image to view it larger.

That's What She Said: MNF edition

2008-10-06T21:50:00.000-04:00

With the Browns bye week, I don't really have much spouting off to do. Having the sense of humor of Michael Scott, I always appreciate a good "that's what she said" joke. Lucky for me, football games offer countless opportunities for this.

The follow are actual phrase uttered during this week's Monday night football game:

"What a great grab"

"Great penetration by the safety right there"

"Tight end" (ok that one is kind of a push...)

"Campbell sneaks in from behind"

"He comes out of the pocket and gets the ball to Bush" (really... I'm starting to approach "the line"...)

"You've got Williams coming in your face" (annndddd... I crossed it... the announcers said it not me!)

"It's a little short, they might have to measure that"

"He's really good in this position"

"He's been in position to score a million times"

"Oh NO!" "Oh no what? You can't leave us hanging like that, is it out or is it not out" (I am in tears... I can't make this stuff up!)

"Coming up, your fastest three minutes"

"He had protection"

I think that that is more than enough inappropriateness for one night... but on unrelated side note.... Reggie Bush is apparently dating Kim Kardashian?!? All jokes aside, this was one exciting MNF game... hopefully next week will be the same....

Bitter Sweet

2008-10-02T11:47:00.001-04:00

Well I'd like to start off by saying that I'm pretty excited that I know that we will go two weeks without a loss. (Since we somehow managed a win last week and we don't play this week). That's something right?

It seems like all the good things I can point out about this team this year and said through clenched teeth. Its all bitter sweet. Like two weeks without a loss. If only that translated into back to back wins....

The win against the Bengals in and of itself was bitter sweet. We didn't play amazing football, winning a game with our heads held high. Oh no. We merely embarrassed ourselves slightly less than an even worse team who was playing with a back up QB. I think our defense was our best offense this week. At least we walked away without a zero at the front of our record.

There was one play this week that was stood out to me as so typical of the team this year. We had a nice interception in I think the 2nd quarter, that on the return, was fumbled. I'm pretty sure the Bengals GAINED yardage on that play. As I've said before, its not that we aren't being given opportunities, it's that we are failing to do anything with them.

This past game also somewhat delays the inevitable. Mind you I don't think I could have functioned this week due to the cloud of depression that would have resulted from a loss to this joke of a team. I will take a win over a loss in all circumstances. But at least it would have forced some action. In terms of staff, QB, etc, etc. Now we're stuck dealing with the same crap for at least another game or two.

There's just so much wrong with this team right now. I really hope they can fix some things in the extra time they have due to the bye week. Somehow, I don't see that happening though. I had a conversation with a friend who recently got a position as an intern for one of the major Cleveland news channels covering sports. Very cool job which has given him the chance to visit the locker room, go to practices, interview players, etc. Yesterday he told me that during a recent trip to the locker room, several players with large contracts were complaining about practicing in the rain. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!? This is your freaking job!!! This is football. In Cleveland. Bad weather comes with the territory. Be glad it's not snowing. You're getting paid millions of dollars to do this. I promise, you will not melt. No wonder we can't win games against real teams.

So I guess now we wait. Wait to get our asses handed to us on a platter on national TV. I really hope I eat my words. Somehow though, I doubt it.

Bring on the other guy....

2008-09-26T12:30:00.001-04:00

What is there to say that hasn't been said in pretty much every media outlet and every blog concerning the Browns?

Blah Blah Blah. Weak O-line. Blah Blah Blah. Injuries Blah Blah Blah. No secondary. Blah Blah Blah. QB with no confidence. Blah Blah Blah. Poor coaching. Blah Blah Blah. We suck.

That pretty much sums it up, and I can't say I disagree. This year has been so disheartening. Romeo went on record as saying that Derek Anderson will start this week but that "the other guy will be ready. He actually referred to Brady Quinn as "the other guy." Seriously Romeo? Seriously? Regardless of what he does, I'm ready to see him play. Not that I'm a loyal fan of either QB camp. I've had very strong QB feelings in the past (the name Tim Couch still makes me vomit in my mouth a little ever time I hear it...) But this time around, I just want to not suck. I don't expect Quinn to come in and be our savior, but why not develop him this year when our season is on the verge of not mattering anyway. Get him some playing time, get him some experience. Give him tapes to study in the off season so he can perfect his game and come back next year and shine.

***THIS JUST IN*** (and by this just in, I just got off the phone with one of my friends who shared this info with me) CARSON PALMER IS OUT!!!

This changes ever thing. I am going into this week with hope!!! Lets hope I don't eat those words. We should be able to take this game and run with it! This make me happy.

Ok. I can't really form any new intelligent thoughts on this team or this matchup right now. As a cruel twist of fate, my college's homecoming was this weekend. While I did not attend, I have been getting numerous phone calls and text messages from college friends all weekend. My inbox is currently flooded with "Who dey" from my friends who should probably read the open letter of my last post. I'm going to go bash my phone against the wall for even displaying such words.

GO BROWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A open letter to all the haters

2008-09-22T17:10:00.000-04:00

I am still too emotionally wrenched to discuss yesterday's abomination. Instead I would like to present an open letter to all the hates. (yes, this probably means you!)

Dear Haters,

You haters come from all walks of life. Many of you are my friends. Some of you are people I encounter on a daily basis. Others are just plain mean. Regardless of who you are, I have the same message for you all:

Don't kick a dawg when he's down.

Seriously. Being a Browns fan is painful enough without you reminding me of it. You may think you are being cute and funny, but you are really just pouring salt in my wounds. Normally I would let these comments slide, because in all reality, I bring it upon myself. (ok, actually I wouldn't... but its nice to think I would right?) But when more people bring up the Browns to me than any other topic in the past 24 hours (and remember, I live in NEW YORK, not Cleveland), its eventually going to set me off into a tirade such as this. (and actually should probably serve as a warning sign that I need to get a life!)

As a Browns fan, I will continue to be a Browns fan, no matter how bad we play. I will be pissed off and miserable as a result of said bad play, but that will not change my inherent fan-ness. Please try and understand this. I guess I'm somewhat of a masochist in that way. I will return week after week to take my beating.

Some general things NOT to do:
1. Do not mass text me if you are a group of my friends that is out while I am watching a Browns game to tell me my beloved team sucks and I should be with you. I am clearly aware and probably quite angry about whatever suckiness is occurring. You are just asking for this anger to be projected upon you. I can not be held responsible for an obscenities that come your way. Consider yourself warned.

2. Do respond to an unrelated question with a sarcastic remark about the previous night's football game. Especially if you follow said sarcastic remark with knowledge of your team's victory.

3. Do not go out of your way to send me a message at work to remind me that my team lost. This is just extra mean on a Monday.

4. If you are my doorman, and I am coming home at 11pm on a Monday still in work clothes, take this as clue #1 that I've already had a long day and refrain from saying "tough loss for you last night, huh?" (although some leniency is given on this one for telling me you feel my pain because your Raiders lost as well)

5. Please refrain from asking me when DA/Braylon/Cribbs/JLew/whatever other Brown you think is under performing is going to step up and put up the numbers you were expecting for your fantasy team. Right now a winning Cleveland team is the only fantasy I'm concerned with. You're office league ranks a distant 49035094309014th to me.

6. If you are a random guy walking down the street, upon seeing my Browns jersey, do not say, "oh man, tough loss, I was pulling for the Browns." Especially do not say this if you are wearing a Dolphins jersey. We have reached a new low when Dolphins fans are feeling bad for us losing. Also, do not ask me if I want to switch jerseys with you. I don't.

These are some simple pointers to remember. Actually, I'm pretty much the biggest hypocrite ever on this one. And not just any hypocrite, a bitter hypocrite. That's probably the worst kind. Trash talking is by far one of my favorite parts of being a football fan, and the second we win a game, I'm going to be running my mouth to anyone I know who is a fan of the opposing team. And if I don't know any fans of the opposing team, I'll probably befriend them, just so I can bask in the glory of us beating them.

So I guess that just means I grin and bear it until my boys up their game. And I guess when it comes to haters, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?

Sincerely,
Hatee turned Hater

Sunday Wishlist

2008-09-21T12:09:00.000-04:00

Walking down the streets of New York this morning, I tripped over something which at first I thought was just a bum or your typical Sunday morning street debris. Upon a closer look, I realized it was a magic genie lamp! Lucky for me, because I'm looking for some magic to happen in the Browns late afternoon match-up against their former selves.

Lucky for me, this genie is not limiting me to 3 wishes.... because I have a lot!

1. Braylon Edwards not only plays, but plays well. He decides his PMS isn't quite bad enough to keep him sidelined and gets himself a pair of sticky hands (yep, like those ones you used to get for a quarter out of the gumball machines at the grocery store) so he can actually CATCH THE FREAKING BALL.

2. A chance to bark like a dog. One of the best parts of being a browns fan. Grown "adults" barking. It's fun. It's brings us Browns fans together. These past two weeks have provided very little opportunity for the chants of "Here we go Brownies...." and even less opportunity for said barking. Is a few big, exciting, chant inducing plays too much to ask for? I don't think so.

3. Health. I wish that real life was like a video game. And all we had to do was find a little red heart and our health meter would return to 100%. I honestly think the Browns have the worst luck in the entire league in terms of injuries. Miserable. At the very least, I wish for no new injuries.

4. Bring Reuben Droughns back. Why you ask? I was a big fan of the guy back when he played for us. But really, more so because I'm watching the Giants/Bengals game right now and he just had a nice little 34 yard return. That's better than I've seen anyone on the Browns do this year. So if I've got wishes to blow, why not? Plus, I really enjoyed chanting "Reeuuu---ben.... Reeeuuuu-ben!". (ps, I am absolutely disgusted by the fact that the Bengals are currently winning, although it looks like this will soon change. I hope it does before I vomit!)

5. All other teams in our division spontaneously combust. I'm a big fan of spontaneous combustion. My fascination of this stems from a documentary I saw on it in 8th grade. And the fact Incubus sings about it. I loathe, despise, hate, abhor, all other teams in our division. To see them all fail, in one week, would be a dream come true to me. Rat-birds, Shitsburgh, and the Bungles all falling to superior teams.

6. Chemistry. There are many, many, many things wrong with our team this year, but I think the lack of chemistry is huge. I think if we could fix this, other things would start falling into place. Part of what made the Browns special last year was the team chemistry. DA/Braylon especially need to get back on track with this. Oh magic genie, please make it happen.

7. A team full of Kellen's. All personal issues aside, he's the only one who's showed any ounce of talent this season. If the rest of the team came out with half of his intensity, we'd be better off. A team full of Kellen-like playmaking would render us unstoppable.

8. A W. Above all else, that all I really want this week. Let's make it happen boys, lets make it happen.

Weebles Wobble....

2008-09-17T14:01:00.000-04:00

I have fond memories of these lovable little toys from my childhood. If you don't know (or remember) what they are, here's what Wikipedia (my go to source for everything!) has to say:

"Weebles is a trademark for several lines of children's toys originating in Hasbro's Playskool division on July 23, 1971. Shaped like eggs with a weight at the fat, or bottom end, they wobble when pushed, but never fall completely over, hence the name."

So where am I going with this, you may ask. Well I have noted time and time again that a one Romeo Crennel bears an uncanny resemblence to these playthings. Don't believe me? See for yourself:So anyway, there is a popular catchpharse that goes along with the weebles: "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down." Or do they?

Romeo has been pretty wobbly lately. It's in his nature. He's a bubbly egg-shapped kinda guy... (his resemblance to the dog weeble is uncanny). My problem is he doesn't so much live up to the "they don't fall down". He is falling. And fast.

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine earlier about the fate the Browns this year. He seems to think that Romeo may be shown the door sooner rather than later. It is his sentiment that after this week's matchup against the Ratbirds, the losing team will be a little bit lighter in the head coach department. I think that might be a bit hasty, but I will agree that Cleveland's own Weeble is teetering dangerously close to the ground, and if he doesn't bounce back up soon, he'll be thrown out like a defective recalled toy.

And I can't say that that would make me sad. He's had ample opportunity to do something with this team. Obviously his first year or two would be trasitioning/rebuilding years. Last year he had the chance to make the Browns a true Cindarealla story. I can't blame our dashed playoff hopes solely on him, but I do feel a stronger coach would have at least had us playing in the first round.

And this year he has been absolutly horrendous. As a whole, I feel that the team has taken a giant step back. But, to borrow a phrase from the business world, he needs to set the "tone at the top". The talent is there (or was at least...I am starting to have my doubts). We need someone who can hold it together and make things happen. He's proven more than once that he is not the man that can do that.

He can't call time outs. And he clearly needs some basic math lessons. (hint: 3+3<7) He has left may a Browns fan, or anyone with half a brain watching the football game, scratching their heads saying: "What was he thinking??"This is not the fearless leader that our team needs. We need someone who's not afriad to take chances (and by take chances, I mean attempt to score enough points to win a freaking game). We need someone the team will respect. We need someone the fans and critics will respect. This person is not Romeo. I will not pretend to know who it is, because I don't. I will leave you with another, not so suble pop-culture reference that sums about how I feel about the career* of our head coach:

*please note, as I have stated in the past, I would never wish death upon anyone, which is why I specified his career, not him as a person.

Sunday Night Football: A play by play (sorta)

2008-09-14T20:16:00.001-04:00

Ok, so we're going to try something new (although, this being my 4th post, most things about this bad boy are still pretty new).

Since our game tonight is a national game, and I'm watching from the comfort of my couch, I'm going to give my thoughts on the game in semi-real time. As I get a little bit too heated when I watch games and tend to throw things, its not a good idea to keep my computer within arms reach, so I'll give my thoughts at the conclusion of every quarter during the safety of the commercial breaks.

Pre-game thoughts:
This game is being hyped, like everything else surrounding our season. Its our chance to establish our presence in the division. So we lost last week. We clearly don't have a good track record in home openers, so lets write it off as a loss, move on, and kick some Shitsburg ass! Braylon needs to step up his game , the D needs to step up their game, hell, the whole freaking team needs to step up their game. Make it happen, and make it happen this week.

1st Q:
One word summary: Unimpressive
Positives:
SACK! On Roethsliburger! On 3rd and 2! Woo. Highlight of the first quarter and the best thing I've seen from our defense this year.
Zastudil kicking well into the wind. Unfortunately, he had to do it way to many times b/c we can't get first downs.
Holding the Stillers to Zero
Negatives:
Braylon sucking at life. Still dead to me. Wind is no excuse.
In general, our D still giving the QB all the time in the world to throw the freaking ball. Where is the pressure?
Having our own score remain Zero.
Other thoughts:
John Madden is a douche.
Why is more attention being paid to Michael Phelps than the game at hand? Yes, he went to M*chigan. Yes, him and Braylon are pals, but lets move on and not bring him up every three seconds just because he's at the game.

2nd Q:
One word summary: gksaljgldksajfdlksajfl;as
Positives:
Um, no one got hurt? Seriously, I would have called a strong approx. 80 yard drive a positive if we had made something of it. Clearly, we didn't. Even a freaking field goal would have been ok. The actual result was infuriating and unacceptable. Actually. I enjoyed that the Steelers called a time out just as we jumped offsides on 4th and 1, except we then proceeded to let them run the ball half way down the freaking field, so this is not a positive.
Negatives:
Way too many. Botching a timeout call at a key time. Bad. Not scoring. Bad. Throwing multiple interceptions. Bad, Bad, Bad. (DA, our guys are wearing the BROWN jerseys, just a friendly reminder)
Shaun Rogers needs to brush up on some fundamentals. Face mask grabbing and jumping the line before the opposing team snaps the ball are cheating. The refs don't like cheaters. Maybe they don't teach you that at Texas*, but here in the north, we play by the rules.
Other thoughts:
A fight will break out before this game is over. There's a lot of physicality going on. Beyond that of a normal game. I am actually looking forward to seeing this happen. Nothing would make me happier. It would bring some excitement to this game. I want the benches to empty. Fists to fly.

Clearly, at the half, I'm not a happy Browns fan. Some shit better go down in that locker room before the 2nd half. Romeo needs to lay down the law and light the fire beneath their arses... Although I never really have faith in us as a 2nd half team. Our strategy should be to score early and often and then pray to God we can hold onto said lead.

3rd Q
One word summary: frustrating
Positives:
We put points on the board. Mind you it was only 3, but still, at least we scored. The game won't be a shut out.
Braylon caught a pass (but then immediately dropped the next). At least I now know his hands still work. Sometimes. Kind of.
Negatives:
We don't like to score touchdowns apparently.
We like to make stupid penalties (offsides)
Not getting the turnover at like the 2 yard line (although it was weather related, and the ball slipped through the hands of like 4 different people)
Other thoughts: 4th and 1. I would go for it. Always. Ok, maybe not always always, but def more than most coaches do. Just a thought, and one based on little to no knowledge of what goes into play making decisions in the NFL.

4th Q:
One word summary: typical
Positives: not a damn thing
Negatives:
Not capitalizing on our drives (scoring field goals rather than TDs, especially when the sum of our field goals does not surpass the opposing team's score)
Stupid and/or mental mistakes (a reoccurring theme season after season week after week)

Honestly, today's game play was an improvement over last week. It wasn't awful, but we did make mistakes. Too many mistakes. And it cost us the game. We again didn't take advantage of the opportunities we were given and it hurt us. I am upset over this loss, and will again be in a football funk until at least mid-week, but I have not abandoned hope on this season. And there was the hilarious comment in the 4th quarter from the ever idiotic announcers that the Browns are "the trendy team in this division this year", which made me crack a smile despite my depression over the loss.

*I actually have nothing against Texas, but one of three people who may actually be reading this blog is from there, and I just love to trash talk...

I'm probably going straight to hell

2008-09-09T22:01:00.000-04:00

So I might be a bad person. I'm kind of ok with that. This revelation came in light of what I will simply call "The Tom Brady Incident". I had a conversation with a Pats fan, and he said that he was shocked that when Brady went down during the game on Sunday, people actually cheered. (He had been watching the game at ESPN Zone in Times Square, so there were undoubtedly fans of multiple teams, many people who hate the Pats, and most likely lots of drunk tourists). So it got me to thinking. As a Browns fan, if we can't take joys in our team's accomplishments, sometimes, the best we can hope for is to take joy in other team's failures. Because, Hey! At least it didn't happen to us. And if that makes me a bad person? Well then so be it.

That being said, the following list of things might not necessarily make me cheer, but they sure as hell wouldn't make me sad. (And really, who am I kidding, they'd probably put a little half smirk on my face)

Brett Farve breaking a toe (he's old, he annoys me, he should have stayed retired!)
T.O. getting a crane dropped on him (ok, I would never wish death on anyone, so maybe a small crane, or at least just on his building so he'd have the inconvenience of being homeless... it sucks... trust me!)
Pittsburgh being annexed to Canada* and the Steelers forced to withdraw from the NFL
Baltimore Ravens stadium falling into the ocean
I don't always agree with Bill Simmons, but I certainly do on this: The Bengals trade him [the player formerly known as Chad Johnson] to a team that already has an established No. 85. Ocho Cinco keeps offering the guy money for his jersey. The guy keeps saying no. Eventually a bitter Ocho Cinco has to either offer him like $500,000, or wear Ocho Seis or Ocho Quatro for the season. Please, Lord, let this happen
Ben Roethlisberger contracting every STD under the sun. Twice.
M*chigan also gets annexed to Canada*.
Chris Hansen exposes Bill Cowher for eating small children for breakfast (I realize he's no longer associated with the enemy, but he annoys me, and really, doesn't he look like he eats small children for breakfast)
People spontaneously combusting every time they utter they phrase "who dey"

I could go on... but I won't. I'm pretty sure I've already go a seat reserved on the express train to hell.

*Actually, this would be unfair to Canada, I propose we annex them both to Iraq

An All Too Familiar Feeling...

2008-09-08T18:39:00.000-04:00

Loss. Disappointment. Bitterness and cynicism. In other words: Sunday. These feelings are all too familiar in the life of a Browns fan. I was hoping this year was going to be different... but it was the same old thing.

I'm going to take my stab at playing Monday Morning (well, evening) Quarterback... In my opinion the game was more of a blowout than the 28-10 final score would lead you to believe. So here's my thoughts on the game for what they're worth:

Braylon Edwards.
Wow. That's all I can say. And not good wow either. He is dead to me until he starts proving himself. I actually took my jersey off during the game yesterday I was so disgusted by his lack of play making. (My Browns jersey bears the number 17, and luckily, I had worn a shirt underneath) He couldn't catch a ball to save his life. I guess that's what I get for placing faith in a player to come out of the state up north. Its looking like his little barefoot run may have some long lasting effects. This pisses me off. Also, next time you want to make ridiculous bets, you'd better come out playing strong from game one to back all your talk. For the record Braylon, you have to CATCH THE BALL to score touchdowns.

Defense.
Again, all I can say is wow. Our defense has more holes than golf course. And the Cowboys found and exploited those holes early and often. Honestly. I don't think they could have stopped a high school team. They gave Romo so much time that he could have written a love song to Jessica Simpson before throwing the ball. It was disgusting to watch. I think there might have been one play that we actually put some decent pressure on him. And that was probably as a result of luck rather than actual talent.

Offense.
For a team whose offense is supposedly a strength, I was not impressed. Beyond Braylon sucking it up, no one really stood out or dazzled me. There was nothing exciting. Not having Cribbs hurt. I'm not sure if better field position on our drives would have helped, but it certainly couldn't have made things worse. And with around 10 minutes left in the 4th when we finally had a drive to get excited about... WE KICKED A FREAKING FIELD GOAL EVEN THOUGH WE WERE DOWN BY 21 POINTS. Seriously? I mean I don't claim to know everything there is to know about football, but there seems to be something inherently flawed with that move. Why not just go for the TD? What did those 3 points prove?

Other stuff.
Browns need to learn to take advantage of opportunites they are given. I commented early on to the Cowboys fan that I was watching the game with that penalties were going to come into play. Unfortuntaly, they didn't. I think Dallas had something like 7 penalties by the end of the first quarter. We should have been using that to our advantage. We didn't.

I hate TO. Seriously, I do. Every time I watch him play, I hate him more. Especially after his little display of unsportsman like conduct after is TD catch. I remember one time seeing a sign from an opposing fan that said "TO has BO" (which i think he either proceeded to tear down or throw the ball at or something). That about sums up my thoughts on him. He sucks at life. Straight up.

Hole In the Wall is the stupidest and most genious show all at the same time. The show is simplisticly stupid in concept. Its basically human tetris and people have to conform their bodies to pass through a shape in a hole in a moving wall. If they fail, the smack into the wall and fall into a pool of water. There is something absolutly hilarious about this. And the time slot is the real genious. Its on Fox right after their Sunday football games are over. So the main audience is drunk football fans. This was really the only redeeming thing of my Sunday night. We watched this at the bar after the game with no sound. And it was amazing. Thank you Fox. This show will last. Only until the end of football season. Once people cease to be drunk on Sunday nights, this show will lose its appeal.

Thats it. So I am left with the bitter taste of defeat in my mouth. And this bad mood/funk will likely last into mid-week. I hate that a football game has that kind of power over me. Expect more rants/complaints as the week progresses.

Every New Begining

2008-09-07T15:05:00.000-04:00

Every new begining comes from some other beginings end. Not really an original thought, but it sums up how I feel right now.

Every new football season brings with it a wave of emotions. This year is no different. The start of training camp and preseason marked a new beginning. Today marks the end of that beginning (thankfully!) and with it, the new beginning of the 2008-2009 football season. Lets take a look at the litany of emotions that are surging through me.

Excitement.
I am giddy with excitement. Some people like summer, some spring, hell, some people even like winter. Me? My favorite season is without a doubt FOOTBALL season. Now that its officially started... I can no longer contain my excitement. And the Browns are getting some notice this year. There's always a certain buzz around them in Cleveland, but there's been some national recognition this year, after many, many, many years of being pretty much a joke. With 5 officialy nationally televised games, people will be watching. Which brings me to my next emotion:

Fear.
OK. I'll admit it. I'm terrified. The Browns have this strange power over me. They have the power to make or break my week in a matter of a couple hours. This season is not going to be easy. First, there is the recurring story line of injuries. It seems every time you turn around, some other key player is injured. From respectable injuries that inevitably occur in the course of game play, the the absurd head shaking injuries a la running barefoot or motorcycle stunts (really, I will really never get past that one). And then there's this new fear that comes with being in the spotlight. I fear a word that I have already started to hear, but I really am refusing to let sink in. Overrated. I hope that the Browns can eliminate this thought from the minds of many.

Optimism.
Despite my fears, I am perpetually optimistic. I love my brownies. I have faith in them. I always have. Even at their worst. And I always will. As a life long Cleveland fan, I am realistic. I prepare myself mentally for the worst. But deep down inside, I always have that sense of optimism. Maybe this will be our year. Maybe the pieces of the puzzle will finally fit into place. Maybe our luck will change. No, we don't have a lot of depth, but who knows, maybe there will be some surprises. No one expected DA to be what he was last year. Maybe we've got some more DA's down there on the depth chart. Sure we didn't see it in preseason. But preseason is over. Our guys have a new chance to prove themselves. When it counts. Regardless of what happens, its going to be fun to watch.

I could continue, but its almost game time! Time to head up to the Browns Backers bar, my own personal piece of Cleveland here in New York and let the fun begin. Hold on tight Cleveland fans! Its going to be a wild ride this year, and only time will tell where its going to take us.