Saturday, April 25, 2009

Draft Day 2K9

Even though it took us 30 years.... we've made our first pick. Nothing like an opportunity for some bad photoshopping.

Onto the 2nd round, where we have pretty much every freaking pick.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Public Service Announcement

So I thought it would go away. But it hasn't. And I feel like the problem is getting worse. This problem is infiltrating all aspects of our society. It's already found its way into one of my favorite hobbies (drinking) and I'm terrified that it is only a matter of time before it infiltrates something else I hold near and dear, the world of sports.

So I'm calling upon you fellow sports fans to help me. This problem is pure evil. The mere thought of it invokes nightmares. It spans generations. Young and old alike.

If you haven't figured out what I'm talking about yet, it's the Snuggie. At first, I thought it was a cruel joke. Then I slowly started to realize that people were serious about this thing. A freaking blanket with sleeves?? You've got to be kidding me. Then I thought, well at least its appeal is limited to crazy people. But you know what? People that I (once) viewed as sane, logical individuals started telling me they wanted one or thought they were a great idea. UM NO! In the god awful commercial (one that almost parodies itself) for these things, it shows people at a sporting event wearing them. "Great for outdoors!" You know what else is great for outdoors? A COAT! And guess what… it also has sleeves! And you don't look like you're in some weird Scientology sect.

With spring baseball weather always questionable, and football season just around the corner (fall will be here sooner than you think), I'm terrified these atrocities are going to start showing up in the stands. So my call to you, loyal readers, is this:

The first time you spot one of these when you're in the stands cheering on your favorite team, and you know it's going to happen sooner or later, put a stop to it. I don't care if it’s a man twice your size, a woman, or a child. You must remedy the situation. Punch them in the face. Throw your beer on them. Squirt stadium mustard in the shape of a "z", Zorro style, all over it. (or maybe an "s", for snuggie). Whatever you do, make sure this person knows what a douche bag they are. Teach them a lesson. If not, this may be our future:

As if the Yankees fans aren't bad enough.

And if you're beside yourself with excitement because of the fact I posted twice today- its because this is also HERE at Straight up Sports, where 7 out of 8* bloggers agree, the Snuggie tarnishes even A.Rod's stellar public image.

*this statistic is totally made up

Thoughts on the NFL Schedule and the NBA Playoffs

So the NFL released the regular season schedule yesterday, and its pretty much 1 o'clock games, which is about what I expected. We've got two 4 o'clock games against some west coast teams, but thats about it. Looks like I'll be bonding with my fellow Browns Backers at the bar every Sunday again this year. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

What did surprise me is that they gave us a Monday night game. At home. I was pretty sure that they were going to keep the Browns as far away from national television as humanly possible. (And probably ship us out for the crappy international game just as an extra kick in the side... if they're even still doing that this year) It's against the Ravens and we should be well rested coming off our bye week. That could actually be a good game, so nice work NFL. As far as I'm concerned this is our only nationally televised game, as I don't count the Thursday night NFL Network games as Nationally televised. If I can't watch it from my couch, it does not count.

In other blatantly obvious NFL news, the draft is next week, and if things go my way, I'll be there in person. So that should make for a fun little post if that pans out.

Moving on to the Cavs. Tonight is the last regular season game. Lebron probably won't even play. If you're reading this, I'm assuming you already know all of this, and won't dwell too much on it and the fact that we have won 66 games, only lost 1 game at home, and broken pretty much ever franchise record ever. I also won't dwell on the fact that whenever I see this team play together, I get jealous because of how much fun they seem to be having. Or the fact Lebron chances are the best they've ever been at winning MVP. Actually, I take that back. I will dwell on all of this. Because if you are anything like me, hearing these things does not get old. Hearing these things, reading these things, hell, typing these things bring a smile to my face. I look forward to the playoffs.

So thats that for now. This post was neither informative or entertaining, but whatever, it killed about 15 minutes of my time, so there you go.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


The crack of the bat. The sound of a ball snapping into a leather glove. The smell of beer and hot dogs. The sound of the announcers voice.


Baseball season is upon us. And it always makes me slightly nostalgic. As the 2009 season is heating up, everyone is talking about who's going to be hot this year. But to me, when I think of baseball, specifically the Indians, I think of 1995. This was the height of my baseball fandom, and arguable, a great year for it.

I can still spout off our starting line up from that year. From memory. I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but without thinking I know that Kenny Lofton was our lead off guy. (And if he got on base, watch out! He might steal!) Following behind him was Omar Viiiiizzzquel, whose hands were probably still stinging from bare handing the ball the previous inning. Carlos Biiiiii-aaaiiirrrrrrrr-gggaa (Baerga) next, followed by Alebert Belle at cleanup. (Just don't call him Joey!). After him was Eddie Murray in his quest for 3,000 hits. And next up to the plate, adjusting his cup, sporting his high socks, was Jim Thome, back when he was still at 3rd base. And today's sports fans would not even recognize the young Manny Ramirez, although he was already establishing himself as a hitter. And Paul Sorrento and Tony Pena/Sandy Almor rounded out the order. And we can't forget our pitchers, Orel Hershiser, Charlie Nagy, Jose Mesa, Jim Poole and Eric Plunk*!

That year meant so many great things for the Tribe. We went from a team that was so bad, they made movies about it to a dominating force to be reckoned with. They were an exciting team to watch. If I close my eyes, I can still see scenes being played out from that year, like I'm watching my cherished "Wahoo! What a Finish" VHS in my mind. Omar flipping double plays. Jose Mesa striking out anyone he faced. Manny and Albert belting out homeruns. Games at the Jake. Talk of baseball everywhere. I can still feel the excitement of the playoffs and the heartbreak of the World Series. There is a similar buzz about the Cavs right now, and hopefully their tale will have a different ending. But I digress. Baseball has changed since then. Whether because I've gotten older (and wiser?), or because it was before all the steriod era drama came to life. I was able to enjoy the sport and the game for what it was. I didn't see overpaid media images. I didn't see controversial figures. I saw people playing a game that I loved, and I saw them playing it well. In my mind, those guys were (and still are) heros.

So here's to 1995. And hopefully we can channel some of that magic in 2009. GO TRIBE!

*side note (and by side note, I mean pointless story) : I was in grade school during this time. I remember having an assembly when the Indians made the playoffs. We were all allowed to dress in Indians t-shirts, which was a big deal because I went to Catholic school. I think Slider, Charlie Nagy, and some random bat boy came. At this assembly, we sang a song about to the tune of 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game', except it was "Root, Root Root for the Innnddiiiannns" and there was a line in it that ended "Jim Pooooollleee and Eric PLUNK!", which sadly is one of the only lines of that song I can remember, and to this day that is why I will never forget those two pitchers!

Friday, April 3, 2009


My roommate (also from Cleveland) and I are having a Cavs party tonight, so I thought I'd take this chance to reflect a bit on the team as we approach the home stretch of the regular season and the start of the playoffs.

First off, my thoughts on last night's game. Like Ron Burgandy after Baxter ate an entire wheel of cheese and then pooped in the fridge, I'm not even mad. Yea. We played badly last night. We were lobbing up shots that weren't falling. Defense looked like crap. We were pretty much letting the Wizards run all over us. No one was really even trying. I would say that we sent body doubles, but I think that you'd be pretty hard-pressed to find look alikes for most of the guys on our team. But we have played so amazing all season, that I can overlook this. Once.

I hope that we play tonight like the Cavs team I have come to expect this season. Not just because back to back losses might put a damper on the party I'm throwing (nothing a vodka soda or a couple of beers won't fix), but because even though we're on top, we need to finish this season strong. I don't want to see us go into the playoffs cold. We can't get lazy and lose that spark we've had all season.

At the start of the 4th last night, I saw a little bit of it, we closed the gap and came within one point, but we failed that final surge that we've seen so often this season. Tonight matters for Orlando. They're fighting for seeding. Tonight matters for us. We're fighting for the home court advantage. The game should and will be a challenge. It's our chance to put ourselves in a play-off like setting on the road and step up. We need to stop relying on the 4th quarter magic, and start off strong and keep it going ALL FOUR QUARTERS.

So I hope our boys enjoyed their little rest last night. Bring on the rest of the season, and bring on the playoffs!