Wednesday, November 26, 2008

You've been KOSAR'D!!!!!!

It's like being Rick Roll'd... only better! It's going to catch on... I swear.

I actually came up with this idea upon reading a really great article about Bernie. I'm not so tech savvy beyond the blogging basics and my awesome photoshopping, so I'm just hiding this in the archives.

Do your part to help this catch on! Tell your friends to check out the really awesome (whatever will make them click on it) you found, and they'll have "Bernie Bernie.... oooooohhhh babbby... SUPER BOWL!" stuck in their heads for the next week.

You're Welcome.

Friday, November 21, 2008

It's Friday and I don't want to work...

I've got typical Friday fever... aka extreme lack of motivation to do anything work related. Lucky for me, I can entertain myself with this here blog of mine.

So much has happened in Cleveland sports this week that my mind is in overload! There is really no way I could narrow my thoughts down to one topic to ramble about... so I'll throw them all out there.

In semi-chronological order, here's what I've been thinking this week.

Monday Night Game.
Well we won. I'll take it. But it sure as hell wasn't pretty. Other than Phil Dawson. That man in incredible. Wind at his back or not, a 56 yard field goal is an amazing feat (and is amazing feet too!). That being said, I can pretty much start writing about games before they even happen. Here's my recap for this coming Sunday's game against the Texans:

Texans kick off to Browns. Cribbs returns to about the 50 for great field position. The offense slowly moves the ball forward, actually converting a few times. It looks like we're going to go up 7-0 to start the game. Pass to Edwards in the end zone... DROPPED. Cue Dawson. FIELD GOAL. Repeat several times. By the end of the 1st half, the defense SOMEHOW manages to hold Houston, and Dawson proceeds to kick 8 more field goals. Three of them from behind the 50 yard line. The Browns are up 27-0. Cue the second half, where our guards proceed to hold hands with Houston's running backs and skip with them down the field, and the rest of the defenses stands and observes as their QB lobs pass after pass over our heads to the waiting receivers. Our offense pretty much shuts down. This continues for much of the second half. As the clock winds down to the two minute warning... the game is now 28-27, Texans. Panic mode begins...

Sadly, that is probably going to be a pretty accurate description of how things will go.

Hopefully that prediction doesn't spur an:

Angry email from Phil Savage.
This whole situation is one of those you shake your head and kind of laugh because really, you don't know what else to do. (Here's the actual emails that were exchanged back and forth) Only in Cleveland does a GM respond to fan criticism with an Go root for Buffalo- f#$!@ you! This is now my stock response for any disagreement I have with people. What's that, you don't like my blog? Go root for buffalo- f#@! you! My boss tells me he needs a report on his desk by 5 o'clock tonight? Go root for buffalo- f#&! you. You want me to pay my bills? Go root for buffalo- f$#! you.

But you know what...

At least the Cavs are good.
This just in. The Cavs are good this year. Really good. Really ridiculously good. I realize that we lost to Detroit on Wednesday. But that is irrelevant. That was coming off an 8 game winning streak, and back to back away games. Now I admittedly don't follow the Cavs as closely as I do the Browns. I'd seen that we'd been winning games and heard that we're a stronger team than last year. But I had to see it for myself to believe it.

And that's just what happened.

Tuesday night I had the pleasure of seeing LeBron light up the Izod Center. Even when we were trailing through the first half (never by more than a few baskets), I thought we looked like the superior team. We were grabbing rebounds like they were going out of style, and even though we were down, I could tell that we were in control of the game. Mind you this might have been a somewhat biased opinion, but not entirely inaccurate. But we EXPLODED in the second half. Now Bron Bron always impresses, and had a few of his signature razzle dazzle plays, but what really surprised me is how great his supporting crew looked. It seemed like every time I turned around West was making another 3 pointer. We looked tough on D. We had a quickness on the court. Mo Williams? Definitely added a presence to the team. And I love Gibson. I'm excited for this team. I still can't get too excited until post season starts, but I will definitely make an effort to catch a few more of the nationally televised games this year.

Insert witty and appropriate transition here...

Broken finger.
To top off all the other mess going on with the Browns right now, Quinn has a broken finger. Luckily its just the tip (sooo many jokes right there that I'm not even going to touch...). He's still supposed to play, and hopefully it won't really effect him. But still, knowing our luck, he'll end up with staph, DA will be back in, and we're right back to where we started. And if somehow DA manages to scrape together a decent quarter or two, then what? There are some scary possibilities out there. This article is just terrifying. We're bad, but we're just mediocre enough that we might not be able to do anything to fix it. I agree with the author when he says "Get me a Christmas Ale. Stat." And if you deny me my Christmas Ale, then you know what, "Go root for buffalo- f#!@ you."

Maybe the magic of Christmas Ale will be enough to lure:

Bill Cowher to Cleveland.
The rumors of Cowher as the new head coach in Cleveland have been flying for sometime. But they've been just that. Rumors. Until now. Its been confirmed, kind of (thanks to my friend Ryan for this link, since he's already yelled at me for not crediting it to him once) that there are at least talks between the Browns the the former Steelers coach. Now I used to loathe this guy. I have said he looks like he eats small children for breakfast. (You can't deny this...) Well I'm sure there's plenty of small children in Cleveland.... Seriously. I just hated him because he led the enemy to victory. I am more than willing to jump on the Cowher band wagon if he comes to Cleveland. But I can't get excited yet. Because for now we kind of have to weather out the storm that is brewing and see what happens....

I think that covers all the big things that have been running through my mind all week. So we'll wrap this up. And I really should do some work. Actually screw that... It's Friday... Go root for buffalo- f#!@ you. (and I've officially over used that...)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Low Expectations: MNF #2

I've said it more than once before, and I'll say it again. THE BROWNS ARE NOT A SECOND HALF TEAM. We are far from the days of the Kardiac Kids, but the 4th quarter as of late has been infuriating. And don't even get me started with the whole "guys quitting" drama…

I have also said that an effective Browns strategy is to take a large lead in the first half and pray to the gods above that we can hold onto it in the 2nd for the win. Apparently this doesn't work so well, considering we've given up close to 50 second half points in just two games.

We've come to show that even a double digit lead though isn't "Browns proof". So how big of a lead are we going to try and blow this week? 20? 30? 47? (clearly I'm a little bitter) I've got higher expectations for the US auto industry than I do this game. This is a game we should win, but games we should win and games we do win have become two entirely different things. As always, I hope with all my might that I eat these words. With Shaun Rogers potentially out though, I have little to no faith in our defense. And our offense hasn't given me much to get excited about either. Win or lose, I can't see tonight being overly fun to watch. Other than the fact its an excuse to drink on a Monday.

Maybe we'll have some more of that Monday Night Magic that seems to work so well against NY teams… but I'm not holding my breath. I'll be watching tonight more so in hopes of catching a glimpse of BQ sans shirt. And that's the sad truth.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Heart Hurts

Sigh. The Browns have officially broken my heart. Again. This team is like that bad relationship. You know its no good for you, but its all you know, and you just can't seem to walk away. You accept the heartache and pain in hopes that things will get better.

In an attempt to save the relationship, the Browns decided to spice things up last week. Try something new. Cue Brady Quinn. Many fans were hoping the hot Quinn and his rippling biceps would swoop in and the team and its fans could have the second honeymoon we've all been waiting for.

Its not to say the "romantic" gesture wasn't appreciated. It's just going to take much more to save this relationship.

What's got to go is the means-well but hasn't a clue mother-in-law. Aka Romeo Crennel. I doubt very many football fans can appreciate/understand (or at least would admit to it) the comparison of Romeo to Bunny McDougal, Charlotte's mother-in-law on Sex and the City. (...and I'm pretty sure I just lost every male reader with that reference...) but I'll continue.

Charlotte (Quinn) thought she was getting her fairy tale in her marriage to Trey (the Browns) but failed to win the approvoal of Bunny (Crennel). Bunny wanted what was best for Trey, and Trey loved his mother, but her actions always seemed to sabatoge the relationship. (Trey's performance issues didn't really help the relationship either. He could never seem to get the job done...)

Slowly, Trey started to see the truth. Bunny was particularly upset when Trey started to resist and defy her. She knew she had lost control.

Rather than bow out gracefully and accept defeat, Bunny stayed stubbornly set in her ways. Even when Trey and Charlotte knew their marriage (the season) was over, rather than take the high road, Bunny stood her ground, fighting to keep control of Trey's apartment. In the end, Charlotte won and got to keep the apartment.

So maybe there's hope. Crennel can fight all he wants, but in the end, he's going to end up out on the streets and Quinn will be left to stick around and redecorate the apartment. But we all know that this one's become quite the fixer-upper.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Mighty Quinn

Mighty Quinn? We'll see.

So I've kind of been avoiding posting all week. I know that you've all been anxiously checking for my witty insight on BQ getting the start all week, refreshing your browser every hour in anticipation. To be honest, I've been thinking about how to approach this topic all week, but my thoughts lack focus. Not that that's ever stopped me before....

I've had more conversations than I can count this week about Quinn. With Browns fans, non-Browns fans, Quinn supporters, and Quinn haters. Everyone has their own opinion on what this means. For DA, Romeo, Savage, the fans, and the team as a whole. I've debated all sides of this issue.

Many people doubt the fact that this decision was Romeo's. Judging by his track record this year, I tend to agree with that. I'm going to go ahead and give myself credit for this one. I'm pretty sure someone in Berea read my "Brady Bunch song", couldn't get the catchy little tune out of their head, and said, 'Sure! Why not?'

Personally, I do not expect Brady to swoop in and save the team (this year). What I do know is this: We've played inconsistently all year, and SOMETHING needed to change. Is the man behind the center that something? I'm not sure. But at this point, it can't hurt to try.

We've got plenty of other problems looming and a fix in one area does not necessarily equal a fix across the board. Even if Quinn turns out to be the next Otto Graham, we're still got some work to do to prove to the rest of the NFL and world at large that we're the team that everyone thought we might have been this year. A team that loyal fans still see deep down inside somewhere.

We've been paying BQ to sit on the bench for two years. We gave up a lot for him. We might as well see what he can do. Give him a chance in real game situations with our starters. Considering that from week to week, we have no idea which version of DA is going to show up, this is no more or less of a risk. We can't really do much WORSE.

Case in point: I'm not at either end of the spectrum on this one. I don't think Quinn means doomsday for Cleveland, and I don't think that he is our knight in shining armor. All I ask is that he goes out there, plays his heart out, and withstands this enormous pressure that was placed upon him 3 days ago.

How I've made it through this entire post without a single inappropriate joke is really amazing. But that's all I've got.

As for tonight, all I can say is... HERE WE GO BROWNIES.... and hope for the best.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Brady Bunch

I (thankfully) did not watch today's game. I had a number of friends running the New York Marathon today, and I went out to show my support for them. I did get essentially play by play text messages from a combination of my brother (who was at the game) and one of my friends. So I still lived and felt the heart ache, disappointment, and anger of today.

That being said, Here's to hoping it ushers in a new era:

Here's the story of a guy named Derek

That was heading up one struggling football team
All of them had lots of injuries, like their teammate,
The soldier one had staph.

Here's the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was spending way too much time on the bench,

He was a talented young QB, up and coming,
Yet he did not get play.

Till the one day when D - A again blew it
And I hope this is much more than a hunch,

That this young QB will somehow play now.
And the Browns will become the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.

That's the way the Browns become the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch.