Random Shaq (and other) Thoughts

I've been MIA as of late. Partially because of work. Partially because with the Cavs and Browns dormant, and the Indians being the suck-tastic mess that they are this year, I haven't had a whole lot to say. But I'm stuck at the airport right now (oh the joys of LaGuardia airport) so I figured what better time than to share my thoughts on the Cavs news addition. (Well newest addition that anyone has previously heard of.)

Just a week ago, I hated Shaq. I was ok with our acquisition of him from a strategic standpoint. Basically a zero risk move in terms of what we gave up and what we got. A proven (although aging) superstar player with one year left on his contract? Bravo. Let me take you through my ever evolving feelings towards the newest Cavalier.

I don't really know where my hatred of Shaq originally stemmed from. Pretty much the only reason for me to hate you as an athlete is for you to be either 1. You are a complete douche bag (ex. TO) or 2. You are talented and a member of a rival team (ex. Rothlisberger... rivals, Miami Universtiy/Shitsburg). While some might argue that Orlando and LA are rivals of the current Cavs team, they weren't when Shaq played for them. And he's far less douchy than many other players out there. So I think my hate was unfounded. I think that Kazaam may have had something to do with it, but who knows.

A (New York Knick's fan) co-worker made the comment "You're not going to win championships with Shaq". I beg to differ my friend. We weren't winning championships with Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic. And who are you to talk? You're not winning championships with anyone on the current Knicks roster. Also, I'm pretty sure you DO win championships with Shaq. Just ask any one of his four championship rings.

So over the past week, I've been trying to warm up to the idea of Shaq. And after spending my evening at happy hour(s) last Friday, I came home and proceeded to familiarize myself with the lyrical genius that his rap career is founded upon. And you know what? It kind of worked. (Go ahead and surf on over to YouTube and put on something in the background... go ahead... I'll wait.....) This guy is growing on me. Move over Bone Thugs N Harmony, Cleveland's got a new rapper in town!

And he's so freaking quotable. Apparently, while he hasn't had any ACTUAL physical conversations with LeBron, he's been talking with him mentally.

And today's press conference? Golden.

http://www.cleveland.com/cavs/index.ssf/2009/07/quotes_from_shaquille_oneal_du.html

Some highlights for those of you too lazy to click on over:

"Right now, my motto is 'Win a Ring for the King."

"... Everyone knows this is LeBron's team. I'm not trying to come in and change that. ... I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do."

Or in other word, Witness Protection (Note: I didn't come up with this nickname myself, but I love it!)

I'm pretty sure that before this season is over, I'll be a converted Shaq fan.

Other random tidbits:

Indians. I think they have completely given up hope on this season. I mean I know I've given up. I don't think anyone really cares anymore. Blah.

Browns. Training camp soon. No idea who our QB is going to be. Nothing new there. Blah.

More Cavs. Ron Artest. Maybe? We'll see. That would be an interesting mix. Lebron's mom better not act up with him on the team. We know how he likes to put fans in their place.

Also, I really want Andy back. I love the guy, what can I say. I like that we're trying to build our championship team, but one thing that worked so well for us last year was chemistry. We need to keep our core players and not lose that. Re-signing Andy is a must. Plus, I love his hair.

Ok that's about it. And since I haven't posted in awhile, here's some bad photoshopping for you as an added bonus.


Shaquille O'Neal's much anticipated sequel!! Cavs-zaam: Rings for the King


Gloria feeling the wrath of 'Bron bron and Ron:

This just in: Tribe signs new player

Utility outfielder C. Gull was called up from the minors this week.

A Tribute to Dick Jacobs

The Jake. That’s what I will always lovingly refer to the stadium in which the Cleveland Indians play. Now more than ever. Dick Jacobs, the man behind the revival of the tribe, passed away on Friday. He earned himself a place in Cleveland history.

The developer behind such notable Cleveland icons such as the Key Tower and the Galleria, he helped rebuild a city and a team. Like many Clevelanders, I have many fond memories of Tribe games growing up. His legacy will live on. Thank you, Mr. Jacobs. Rest in peace.

Charles Barkley's a Round Mound of Bitterness!

Let's take last night, and repeat it twice. Minus that 3rd quarter stuff. What I said in my last post still applies. If you haven't read it yet, do so. But in the meantime, enjoy this:



A perfect union of my love of Mike Polk (the guy that brought you the Hasitly Made Cleveland Tourism Videos) and my distaste for Charles Barkley!

Now Is Not the Time to Be Pessimistic

Self loathing. Self pity. Misery. Depression. Angst. Strife. Agony.

These are all words that the Cleveland sports fan knows all to well. But I'm here to tell you right now, FORGET THEM.

It's easy to (again) dismiss a season as over, to start lamenting and grumbling "next year". Resist that temptation. Now more than ever we need to stand behind this team. I'm not talking about all of the bandwagon "LeBron" fans out there. I expect this from all of you. I know who you are. You are the ones to whom the names Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, and Larry Nance mean nothing. You are the people sitting in the row behind us at game two that we yelled at for the last five minutes of that game to get off your fat asses and stand up and cheer. You are the people who are kicking yourselves for getting up and walking out or shutting off the game when we were down by two with one second left. You are the ones who dismissed this series as over after game one. No. I'm not talking to you. You've jumped ship, and you will not be welcomed back when we persevere.

I'm talking to the true CLEVELAND fans out there. Those of you that year after year endure the fates of the Cavs, Browns and Indians, and year after year return to cheer on your team. Those of you that remember the old days of the Coliseum. Those of you that coped with the struggles of the 90s team. Those of you that have been following King James since his days at St. V, salivating at the fact that there was a chance that he'd end up here. Those of you that win or lose, better or worse, are not afraid to stand up and say, yes, I'm a Cleveland Fan. Yes. I'm talking to you.

Let's not abandon this team now. Since moving from Cleveland, I've noticed something. This city has this quality to bring people together that I don't see anywhere else. Clevelanders have a common bond. Our loyalty to our teams is part of that. This Cavs team has helped revive our city. Attending the first two games of this series, I noticed how alive it felt. Let's not lose that. I spent entirely more money than I should have to attend those first two games, and if I was still in Cleveland, I'd spend even more to go tonight. I'd sell my kidney on the black market if I had to. We have the home court ADVANTAGE. Get out there and make it that.

So tonight when Mo, Z, Andy, West and King James take the floor, what are you going to do? Cheer twice as loud. Clap twice as hard. Give the Cavs energy to feed off of. Show this Magic team and everyone watching that Cleveland is proud. We refuse to go down without a fight.

Sports thoughts for the ADD mind

I don't have the time or attention span to post much of anything right now, but here's some quick thoughts on some things, ADD style...

Western Conference Finals: at least the Lakers are struggling too....

Indians come-from-behind win: !!!??? um ok? I'll take it

Eastern Conference Finals: I'm terrified. Keep me away from bridges if we lose tonight.

Other Cavs News: Hey China, SHOW ME THE MONEY!

I'd go on but..

.... OOH something shiny....

This will NEVER get old

I will be eating ramen for the next month, because I spent all my money on Cavs tickets. I have priorities you know. I debated whether or not to attend the game last night. I was pretty sure I was bad luck. But I had this gut feeling that told me I didn't want to miss this game. A part of me knew that something was going to happen, and I wanted to be able to say "I was there for that". Absolutely 110% worth it.