Sunday, September 27, 2009

Yep. Sounds about right.

Ok, so I didn't post this week. Honestly... I have nothing new to say. We suck. We play bad football and lose games. There's only so many times I can put a funny spin on that. Maybe I should pick something new and less depressing to write about. Like world hunger.

I have let my loyal readers down lately. To make up for it, and the fact that I'm currently deriving no joy from this game, I am going to blog.

Actually, this is so painful to watch that CBS just crapped out. Even they don't want this game to be shown.

Its sad when I've written off the season three games in. Whether I'd like to admit it or not though, I have. I know this becuase this game isn't even getting to me. I've discussed the emotion this team invokes with me in the past. An emotion so unique to Cleveland fans, it has its own word... Brown. I've felt Brown about this whole season. I am a Browns fan until the day I die, but I'm just so apathetic right now. I honestly cannot even get excited about this team. And that's sad. The Browns being bad is nothing new, but they at least used to get me fired up. I used to get mad. I'm watching this game right now, we're playing like crap, and I don't have the urge to throw things. That's how I know things are bad. In the past, I have had to make sure there was nothing within arms reach of me during games or it would inevitably get thrown. I actually almost got kicked out of the Browns Backers bar in New York one time for throwing a fork. I didn't even realize I had done it... It was reaction. This team doesn't even do that to me anymore. I think that's part of the reason why my posts have been so spuradic as of late.

Anyway, back to the game at hand. We just reached the 2 minute warning in the first half, and I've yet to see a single postive in this game. We are bad. Unbearably, unwatchably bad. A recap so far.... according to my text messages/facebook wall, as they are infinitly more exciting than anything I'm actually seeing on the tv.

Text from Brother: Dawson and Lewis are out
Text from Brother: Blah

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text from me to friend from Columbus (who is football neutral towards both the Browns and Bengals... which is lame): This game is going to be brutal
Text from me to Columbus: I am not a happy Girl Out of Cleveland
Response from friend: Looks like it... I'm sorry

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text from friend that lives in DC: At the game totally got booed
Text from friend that lives in DC: 1 browns suck 2 there are MAYBE a handful of people in baltimore w class 3 there are less in Pittsburgh.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Response to my facebook status (which currently reads: "It's sunday... which means I'm suffering through a Browns game) from another friend that lives in DC: For some reason, DC isn't playing the Baltimore game so I had to come to a bar. It really helps drown the sorrows, thus killing two birds with one stone.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Halftime. 20 - 0. Ratbirds.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Looks like the second half Browns showed up in the first half this week... Maybe luck will be on our side and we'll come out looking like an actual football team in the second half, but I'm not holding my breath. I can probably go ahead and write about the second half now, during halftime, without even having to watch it.

Let's predict:

On the Browns first possession of the half, they surprise me and show some promise. They actually manage to get the ball down the field and into the red zone. After 3 miserable attempts to score, we kick a field goal. Actually, that gives me an epiphany. I know why we're scoreless so far. Dawson is out. Our offense is basically built around him. Without him, we're not entirely sure how to put points on the board.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Text to Brother: We suck. Do we even count as a football team right now?
Text from Brother: No- but at least we aren't Detroit.
Text to Brother: But sadly Detroit is up 10 to 0 right now... the Redskins are probably saying to themselves at least we're not Cleveland
Text from Brother: I'm gonna cry.

Yep. Sounds about right.

Oh. F*ing NO. DA is in. SERIOUSLY? I am not entirely sure I can even watch this game, scratch that, this team anymore. Although he just made a completion. I can't even handle this. CLEARLY the solution all of our problems is to start playing games with our QBs. At least I want to throw things again! I am not advocating Quinn. I'm not even entirely against DA playing, but this back and forth is not going to cut it. ARGHHH. DA intercepted.

Yep. Sounds about right.


Me to Columbus friend: This isn't even a game. I am disgusted. We are easily the worst team in the NFL right now. Even the lions are winning :(
Me to Columbus friend: They haven't won a game since 2007. Take a minute and think about that... My team is worse than that
Columbus friend: Lol this is true

Yep. Sounds about right.

New facebook status: "Oh here's an idea! LETS PUT IN DA! Don't act like you were surprised when he threw an interception. FML. jfskdafj;asfjs;alfkl;"
Response by friend:
I want to run Mangini out of town with a mob and pitchforks.

Yep. Sounds about right.

I'm done. I can't honestly have to shut this off. Right now studying for my CPA exam is the less painful option to this game. I'm not sure if this is what hell is like, but I'm assuming its pretty close.

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