Tuesday, July 21, 2009

More Random Thoughts

So until football season officially starts back up again (and in my mind, it officially starts back up once training camp begins), I think I'll just post some more random thoughts to pass the time. Although, I promise a Browns post of some substance and/or wit soon.

In the meantime, it has been a WEIRD few days in sports news. A run down:

1. Shaq
Seriously, this guy keeps getting better. I'm not to the point I'm running out and buying a jersey yet. But I find myself loving him more and more. He's on the Shaq Traq to my heart. (I promise this is funny in my head).

First, I find out he's got a reality show coming out where he will go up against superstar athletes in their respective sports. As if that's not going to be worth watching in and of itself, we go on to find out that one of the athletes he'll be pitted against is none other than Ben Roethlisberger. I will be glued to my tv in hopes that he just absolutely LEVELS the guy. It will instantly up him about 10 notches on the Shaq Traq.

Second, how can you look at this picture and not just laugh.

(from: http://deadspin.com/5318959/this-little-furry-will-be-shaqs-reality-show-sidekick)

I'm seriously considering making it my wall paper on my work computer. Next time my boss is being overly demanding or my client is being particularly annoying, I can just minimize the 30 Excel sheets I have open and Shaq and his panda friend will be smiling back at me.

2. Big Ben
Shaq is the LEAST of this guys worries. If you count on ESPN for all your sports news, you have no idea what I'm talking about, as they have declined to report on this story. The story has unfolded pretty much like something on a soap opera though from the various stories I've seen throughout the day. Basically, to sum things up, an employee of a casino/hotel that he stayed at a year ago has accused him of sexual assult in a civil suit. She isn't the most credible of sources from what I've read, making wild accusations against her co-workers, and seeking therapy for being in love with a guy who didn't exist (um, yea, you heard that right). I make note of this as I'm sure it will be the subject of many tasteless jokes (from myself or otherwise) in the future.

3. Kellen Winslow's Balls
Yep. We're talking about this. Again. Even though this is old news, he apparently gave an interview with ESPN the magazine. It wasn't staph, that was a cover up. He did have some kind of weird infection of his balls and his suspension, which was later rescinded was probably warranted. If I was Phil Savage, I would have told him "Go root for your testicles.... F&@! you!"
All I have to say is glad he's gone.

4. Best Sports Story I've seen in awhile
Check it out yourself. I can't do it justice.

5. Last but not least, the above mentioned SHAQ TRAQ:
(click it to make it bigger)

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Random Shaq (and other) Thoughts

I've been MIA as of late. Partially because of work. Partially because with the Cavs and Browns dormant, and the Indians being the suck-tastic mess that they are this year, I haven't had a whole lot to say. But I'm stuck at the airport right now (oh the joys of LaGuardia airport) so I figured what better time than to share my thoughts on the Cavs news addition. (Well newest addition that anyone has previously heard of.)

Just a week ago, I hated Shaq. I was ok with our acquisition of him from a strategic standpoint. Basically a zero risk move in terms of what we gave up and what we got. A proven (although aging) superstar player with one year left on his contract? Bravo. Let me take you through my ever evolving feelings towards the newest Cavalier.

I don't really know where my hatred of Shaq originally stemmed from. Pretty much the only reason for me to hate you as an athlete is for you to be either 1. You are a complete douche bag (ex. TO) or 2. You are talented and a member of a rival team (ex. Rothlisberger... rivals, Miami Universtiy/Shitsburg). While some might argue that Orlando and LA are rivals of the current Cavs team, they weren't when Shaq played for them. And he's far less douchy than many other players out there. So I think my hate was unfounded. I think that Kazaam may have had something to do with it, but who knows.

A (New York Knick's fan) co-worker made the comment "You're not going to win championships with Shaq". I beg to differ my friend. We weren't winning championships with Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic. And who are you to talk? You're not winning championships with anyone on the current Knicks roster. Also, I'm pretty sure you DO win championships with Shaq. Just ask any one of his four championship rings.

So over the past week, I've been trying to warm up to the idea of Shaq. And after spending my evening at happy hour(s) last Friday, I came home and proceeded to familiarize myself with the lyrical genius that his rap career is founded upon. And you know what? It kind of worked. (Go ahead and surf on over to YouTube and put on something in the background... go ahead... I'll wait.....) This guy is growing on me. Move over Bone Thugs N Harmony, Cleveland's got a new rapper in town!

And he's so freaking quotable. Apparently, while he hasn't had any ACTUAL physical conversations with LeBron, he's been talking with him mentally.

And today's press conference? Golden.


Some highlights for those of you too lazy to click on over:

"Right now, my motto is 'Win a Ring for the King."

"... Everyone knows this is LeBron's team. I'm not trying to come in and change that. ... I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do."

Or in other word, Witness Protection (Note: I didn't come up with this nickname myself, but I love it!)

I'm pretty sure that before this season is over, I'll be a converted Shaq fan.

Other random tidbits:

Indians. I think they have completely given up hope on this season. I mean I know I've given up. I don't think anyone really cares anymore. Blah.

Browns. Training camp soon. No idea who our QB is going to be. Nothing new there. Blah.

More Cavs. Ron Artest. Maybe? We'll see. That would be an interesting mix. Lebron's mom better not act up with him on the team. We know how he likes to put fans in their place.

Also, I really want Andy back. I love the guy, what can I say. I like that we're trying to build our championship team, but one thing that worked so well for us last year was chemistry. We need to keep our core players and not lose that. Re-signing Andy is a must. Plus, I love his hair.

Ok that's about it. And since I haven't posted in awhile, here's some bad photoshopping for you as an added bonus.

Shaquille O'Neal's much anticipated sequel!! Cavs-zaam: Rings for the King

Gloria feeling the wrath of 'Bron bron and Ron: