I'm probably going straight to hell

So I might be a bad person. I'm kind of ok with that. This revelation came in light of what I will simply call "The Tom Brady Incident". I had a conversation with a Pats fan, and he said that he was shocked that when Brady went down during the game on Sunday, people actually cheered. (He had been watching the game at ESPN Zone in Times Square, so there were undoubtedly fans of multiple teams, many people who hate the Pats, and most likely lots of drunk tourists). So it got me to thinking. As a Browns fan, if we can't take joys in our team's accomplishments, sometimes, the best we can hope for is to take joy in other team's failures. Because, Hey! At least it didn't happen to us. And if that makes me a bad person? Well then so be it.

That being said, the following list of things might not necessarily make me cheer, but they sure as hell wouldn't make me sad. (And really, who am I kidding, they'd probably put a little half smirk on my face)

• Brett Farve breaking a toe (he's old, he annoys me, he should have stayed retired!)
• T.O. getting a crane dropped on him (ok, I would never wish death on anyone, so maybe a small crane, or at least just on his building so he'd have the inconvenience of being homeless... it sucks... trust me!)
• Pittsburgh being annexed to Canada* and the Steelers forced to withdraw from the NFL
• Baltimore Ravens stadium falling into the ocean
• I don't always agree with Bill Simmons, but I certainly do on this: The Bengals trade him [the player formerly known as Chad Johnson] to a team that already has an established No. 85. Ocho Cinco keeps offering the guy money for his jersey. The guy keeps saying no. Eventually a bitter Ocho Cinco has to either offer him like $500,000, or wear Ocho Seis or Ocho Quatro for the season. Please, Lord, let this happen
• Ben Roethlisberger contracting every STD under the sun. Twice.
• M*chigan also gets annexed to Canada*.
• Chris Hansen exposes Bill Cowher for eating small children for breakfast (I realize he's no longer associated with the enemy, but he annoys me, and really, doesn't he look like he eats small children for breakfast)
• People spontaneously combusting every time they utter they phrase "who dey"
  

I could go on... but I won't. I'm pretty sure I've already go a seat reserved on the express train to hell.

*Actually, this would be unfair to Canada, I propose we annex them both to Iraq